An Honest Mistake
by dave-d
Summary: Tsunade has Sai address an assembly of shinobi, giving them all a chance to get to know him better. A misunderstanding on his part leads him to say things he shouldn't have. UPDATE: three separate stories in this continuum have been consolidated here.
1. An Honest Mistake

The shinobi in the auditorium quieted down.

Tsunade had banged her hand against the podium, calling the meeting to order. Everyone was in a subdued mood, thanks to recent events.

Asuma had died, fighting against Hidan and Kakuzu. Subsequent attacks by Akatsuki had brought more death, but the organization had failed to retrieve the person they were after, and the Bijuu they needed for their plans for world domination.

"We haven't had time to meet like this in a while," the Hokage stated, looking out over the sea of faces. Ninjas of all ages were there, along with the current Academy level students. "It's _never _easy to mourn the loss of those we love and respect…." She looked out over the sea of heads, finding Shikamaru, Choji, and Ino. "But… the village remains… and we should take the time to meet those we know little about…."

Tsunade began looking for another particular face. There were a number of people who needed to be more familiar to the shinobi in the room. One in particular stood out in her mind, because he had taken a rather prominent place in Team Seven.

"Sai…." The Hokage found who she was looking for. As she expected, he was sitting next to Naruto and Sakura. It had been simple finding him. How many ninjas wore orange? How man girls had pink hair? She frowned. Kakashi was reading one of those damned books again. "Would you come up here… please…."

"If you wish," Sai said pleasantly, his face showing a trace amount of emotion. He had worked very hard to fit in with Naruto and the others, and had continued his trips to the library, in order to read up on human behavior. In addition, he had been covertly observing the people of Konoha, his fellow shinobi most of all. "I hope I haven't done anything wrong…."

"Not at all," Tsunade said, making a gesture with one hand. "By all accounts, you have been very pleasant to be around, and have managed to stay out of trouble _despite_ the environment you find yourself in." She saw the way that Naruto scowled, hearing that. Sakura looked a bit perturbed, too. Good, the two of them were getting along much better. But, 'better' was a relative term.

"Thank you, Ma'am." Sai walked up a short flight of wooden steps, and then headed for the podium. "It is a good group to work with. I have learned a great deal. By watching others, I learn what things I should do…." He smiled that closed-eye smile of his. "And should _not_ do…."

"I can image," the Hokage deadpanned. That had a number of ninjas smiling or whispering amongst themselves. "I would like you to start off by telling everyone here a little about yourself. No topics are off limits. I only ask you to show good judgment."

"I will do that, Ma'am." Sai nodded. He looked out over the assembled group. He wondered how many of those people might be friends to one another. More so, he contemplated the possibility of them becoming his friends. "Sai is _not_ my real name. That was taken from me long ago." He didn't sound happy or sad about that fact. "Sai was merely a codename given to me by Danzo, when I was assigned to infiltrate Team Seven as a replacement of Sasuke Uchiha." He looked down at Naruto and Sakura. "Perhaps I shouldn't have mentioned that name…." It was still a very sensitive subject, especially since the time was drawing near to the point where Orochimaru would need to make another body transfer.

"It's alright," Tsunade said. "Please continue." The ongoing nastiness with The Nine had made it difficult to spare people to send off after the missing ninja. In particular, it was a very bad time for Naruto to go anywhere far from the safety of the Village Hidden in the Leaves.

"As some of you may know, I have had trouble showing emotions." Sai had been making great strides in that direction, in his mind. It was hard. He would need years to understand things that most people took for granted. But, it was a worthy goal. "Before I was truly accepted into my team, I started off on the wrong foot. I attacked a number of shinobi physically. I challenged Uzumaki Naruto's manhood by asking if he even had a penis."

"**Sai!"** Naruto shook his fist at his teammate.

"You can leave out things like that," the Hokage said, a tic appearing at her forehead.

"I apologize," Sai said, without missing a beat. He wondered why a lot of people were snickering and making snide comments he couldn't hear. Was it because they did not value him? Was it because they thought little of Naruto? Or, was it because they truly liked his teammate, and were using this opportunity to express that fact? "I will refrain from noting that I compounded my error by calling Haruno Sakura ugly when we first met, and made a wrong-headed effort to disparage Uchiha Sasuke in their presence."

"**Baka!"** Now it was Sakura's turn to look irritated. The more time she spent with Sai, the more she found herself wondering if his clueless nature was merely an act. She sighed. Naruto was pretty clueless, too. But, while her hyperactive friend had grown up under difficult circumstances, he at least had a chance to express himself. Danzo had used special training to eliminate all emotions from Sai, much the way that Kirigakure had used their infamous graduation exercise. He had caused Sai to fight his 'brother' to the death, an act that her newest teammate had trouble facing to that day.

"Please, forgive me." Sai's facial expression did not change. At the Hokage's prompting, he began discussing some of the jutsus that he knew. "I make use of a scroll, brush and ink to draw animals that will leave the parchment and attack as I wish. Using the same method, I can create a large bird that I can fly on."

"I understand that you have been very busy lately," Tsunade said, after Sai had finished with his brief dissertation. "A number of people have brought that to my attention." By that, she meant the other members of Team Seven, and anyone else who had happened upon them while they were training. "Why don't you share with us the things that you have learned?" It would be a good way to draw out things about group dynamics, while making the boy seem like any other member of the original 'Rookie Nine.'

"Is that _truly_ your command?" Sai cocked his head. He had interpreted the Hokage's request in an entirely different way. He was trying to be discrete and responsible. "Some things should probably be kept secret."

"Nonsense," Tsunade said with a shake of her head. "We are all part of one big team. That is they way that we have always done things, and I intend to continue doing things the same way until the day I step down." She didn't want any one team to keep its methods hidden, so as to show up any other group of ninjas. "There should not be any secrets amongst us."

"You might want to clarify…." Shizune tried to get the Hokage's attention, but failed. While she hadn't had much of a chance to get to know Sai, she had heard a great deal about him from Sakura. He was very prone to misinterpreting things.

"I have observed a great many things," Sai remarked, moving the microphone on the lectern to better suit his height. "Perhaps these things are well known to the rest of you." He looked down at the Copy Ninja, whom he had come to respect immensely. "Hatake Kakashi is very fond of the _Icha Icha_ series of books. In his words, they help him 'get some'."

Kakashi's visible eye opened very wide. He obviously hadn't expected Sai to mention that.

"He explained to me that using such triumphs as a reference, the score in his contests with Maito Gai would be more on the order of fifty to nothing." Sai looked amiably over at the green-suited jounin, wondering why the shine on the man's teeth suddenly went flat.

"That… he… my rival…." Gai couldn't get the words out. Truth be known, despite his obvious magnificence, he never did have much luck with the ladies. It was a mystery too him.

"None of that was…." Tsunade couldn't get a word in edge-wise. Sai was on a roll now.

"Naruto informed me that his mentor, the Frog Hermit, was the one who wrote the books." Sai had asked if he could read one, to help him in his research. His sensei had refused the request. "He also told me that he himself had ghost-written a chapter in the latest volume when his former teacher was unavailable or out of sorts."

"_What?"_ The Hokage clenched her fists. That was the first she had heard of any of that. When she caught Naruto's gaze, he tried to crouch down in his seat.

"Naruto?" Sakura did not look very pleased. She laced her fingers together and cracked her knuckles. Sai had soon learned that she was not willing to put up with the orange-clad boy's occasional perversions.

"What I fail to understand, however…." Sai scratched his head. "If Naruto is so wise when it comes to relationships, why does Sakura think he is so clueless?" He scanned the crowd, wondering if someone would provide him with an answer. "It may be because he does not give any sign that he knows how much she has started caring for him."

"Sakura-chan?" Naruto sat up straighter, looking over at Sakura. She looked like she had frozen in place. If he could have seen the 'Inner Sakura,' he would have known that her imaginary construct wasn't fairing any better.

"Or, it may be the fact that Naruto still does not realize that Hyuuga Hinata has a crush on him," Sai continued. "And has felt that way since the two were together at the Academy." He shrugged. "I doubt that is the case. Someone would have to be fairly stupid to miss the obvious…" He wondered why Inuzuka Kiba and Aburame Shino were fanning their teammate. It looked as if the white-eyed girl had passed out. Perhaps she had merely fallen asleep. His presentation was rather dry, after all.

"Sai… you shouldn't…." Again, the Hokage's words were lost in the resultant hubbub.

"Hinata?" Naruto looked over towards Team Eight. He jumped, catching the look on Sakura's face. "Sakura-chan?" Her eyes had been glowing red. Now, her cheeks were.

"There seems to be a great deal of energy spent on affairs of the heart," Sai observed. "I have not done any of the same, myself. I suppose that makes me sadly deficient." He blinked rapidly, and then looked over at Neji. "Perhaps not. I would not judge Hyuuga Neji to be an imbecile. In fact, many consider him to be a genius. And yet, he does not seem to realize that his teammate is in love with him."

"Lee?" Naruto smirked. He was just joking. That ought to have Lee standing up and making some kind of exclamation.

"**Ahhh-hh-h**…." Sure enough, Lee shot up like a rocket. "He means Ten Ten!" He put a hand over his mouth, looking stricken. Ten Ten had made him promise not to say anything. He sat back down, feeling a bit sheepish when he saw the way that a stunned Neji looked.

"That is correct," Sai confirmed. "Rock Lee's crush is on my teammate…." He had learned from experience. He would not leave things hanging again. "Haruno Sakura." He looked over at Lee. "He is very strong-willed. I admire that. Anyone else would probably give up, if the girl they liked referred to them as a Fuzzy-browed Freak."

"Lee… I…." Sakura looked like she wad been caught with her hand in the cookie jar. She didn't not like the fact that Lee had a crush on her; but, she never wanted him to know any of the things that she called him whenever his unwanted actions left her upset.

"Perhaps she meant that as a term of endearment," Sai mused out loud. "After all, she grew very upset at me when I chose to use nicknames, even though Naruto informed me that pet names often help break the ice, and begin to foster a sense of trust amongst companions. No. I see that I may have overstepped my bounds. Likely, she should not say such things, just as I was told never to call Akimichi Choji 'fat'…." He looked mystified. "...Even though he is twice the size of anyone else."

"You shouldn't…." Shikamaru looked particularly bothered. He hated when people said that about his friend. Then again, as one of his dying suggestions, Asuma ha asked Choji to lose weight. Looking over at his rotund friend, he saw that the other boy had ripped the armrests off of his seat.

"That is another thing that confuses me," Sai admitted, ignoring the fact that the Hokage was waving her hands frantically. "Why would he wish to stay that large? He has a very big crush on Yamanaka Ino; but, she routinely berates him for his corpulence." He stroked his chin, deep in thought. "It's probably because he knows that the girl is interested in her other teammate, who treats her more as if she were a wart or a bad case of the runs."

"You…." Ino had thought Sai very cute, back when he nicknamed her 'Ms. Beautiful.' Her opinion of him had changed rather drastically.

"_Hmmm-mm-mpf_…." Sakura managed a quick grin. At least she wasn't the only one who felt as if she were hung out naked on a clothesline.

"Perhaps that is why, when I have happened upon her in the past, unseen…." Sai said. "When she was practicing kisses on her hand, she kept saying things like 'O… Shikamaru… you hunk, you….""

"Him…." Kiba looked like he was going to bust a gut. "A hunk…." He began laughing. That obviously didn't sit well with either Ino or Shikamaru.

"Priceless," Shino said, his single word speaking volumes.

"I do not see why you would make fun of your friend that way," Sai said down to Kiba. "Especially since you were turned down by the last three girls you approached." He had followed Kiba one day, as he had walked into town and caught sight of a group of civilian girls out for a stroll during lunch break. "And… afterwards… when you saw Akamaru licking his privates… you said that you wished you could do that for yourself…."

"Hah!" Naruto stood up and pointed at Kiba. "And everyone thinks that _I'm_ a perv!"

Kiba began growling. He didn't know who he wanted to strangle first, Sai or Naruto. No. The choice was simple. Sai.

"**SAI!"** Finally, Tsunade decided to shout, whether or not such an act might seem dignified. **"ENOUGH!"**

"Ma'am?" Sai looked perplexed. He had simply done what he was instructed to do, mentioning all of the things that he had observed and spent time pondering.

"I… meant…." The Hokage's vein at the temple area was pulsing wildly. "You… should… tell… us… about…the… things… you… learned… with… your… team…." It was hard speaking like that, between clenched teeth. "In regards to _practice."_

"Ahhh." Sai nodded his head. That certainly made more sense. "It was an honest mistake." He turned to face the audience again. "Please forget those things that I said."

"Dead man walking," Ino whispered.

_E-N-D_


	2. Clueless to a Fault

The door slammed shut.

Whenever the building maintenance man came by on his next rounds, he would see that the hinges were bent and the knob had fingernail prints embedded in the solid brass.

"It's not like I _care_ or anything!" Ino tossed her hair and flounced down a series of stairs. "It's none of my business, right?" The look on her face had a group of genin clearing a space for her as she approached the exit.

It had taken weeks, but she had finally come to terms with her feelings, and had worked up the courage to approach Shikamaru. She liked him, as more than just a teammate or a friend. He was a genius. He ought to _know_ that, right? So, if things had gone better, he would have accepted, wouldn't he? Nooo-oo-o. _She_ had to be there. Why did that hussy pick today to visit Konoha?

"Why do I need _another_ rival?" Ino stomped along the sidewalk, hair tossed this way and that by a stiff wind. "That was enough trouble, before." Yes. Her crush over Uchiha Sasuke had ended her close friendship with Sakura, who had a similar crush. Up until that point, she had been Sakura's first friend, and had helped Sakura develop her own identity and feelings of self-worth. When they were both children, she gave Sakura a ribbon so she didn't have to hide her forehead, which had been the physical feature that had earned the other girl a lot of torment and teasing. "It was so stupid, before!" The two had become bitter rivals; _but, _neither one was successful.

When Ino had knocked on Shikamaru's door, she had been a couple of seconds away from blurting things out. But, he had looked somewhat uncomfortable, and a bit put out. The reason was simple enough. Temari was there. That would have been bad enough. If the other kunoichi had been there on a friendly visit, she would have put on a smile and chatted happily with her, hiding her disappointment. Oh no. Things couldn't be that simple, _could _they! 'Hello, Ino' Temari had said amiably enough. 'Is this going to be a double date? Shikamaru, you could ask your other teammate to join us.'

"**Choji!"** Ino kicked at a garbage can that stood in her way. The heavy and newly dented can rocked back and forth, and finally thumped back down on the concrete. Great. Now her toes ached! "He's the last person on earth that I would date!" Choji was her friend. He was a fellow member of Team 10. Like she and Shikamaru, he wore one of the earrings that Asuma had given them. She would trust him with her life. But, she did _not_ want to date him. "**Oooo-ooo-oo-h**… that witch probably knew that…." She was still muttering under her breath when she reached the flower shop.

Ino was very talented in Ikebana, the way of the flower. The family shop was the one place that she could usually trust to lift her spirits when she was down. In part, it was because she found flowers to be so wonderful. Not only that, but flower arranging forced her to get in touch with her inner self. In contrast to the decorative form of flower arranging that was prevalent in some of the other Hidden Villages, the Yamanaka family method creates a harmony of linear construction, rhythm, and color. But, harmony was the furthest thing from Ino's mind.

"**Double date!"** Ino wrestled with the cut flowers, instead of working with them to make art. "Why would I want to do _that?"_ If she couldn't go out with Shikamaru, she sure as hell didn't want to go along with him and his date, watching him fawn over some other girl. The nonsensical nature of that thought didn't register. Shikamaru? Fawn? On anyone? She was too frazzled to see the incongruities. "Ohhh…." She had fallen into some of her old routines, paying too much attention to the beauty of individual flowers, instead of working on an arrangement that would symbolize heaven, earth, and humankind. "This is probably the way that _she _would do it… the tramp…."

Eventually, her mother suggested that she leave the flower arranging to someone else. She didn't question her daughter on her problems, guessing correctly that it had something to do with affairs of the heart. Accepting things with good grace, Ino left the shop, intending to do some practicing off on her own. That kind of thing would help her get rid of her pent up aggression. Making her way along 

one path, she saw a flash of pink, and heard someone laughing. It was Sakura! She and the rest of Team 7 looked to be heading back from the training fields.

"It's not like I'm too embarrassed to see anyone." Ino crept behind a tree, and watched as the four shinobi strolled past. Sakura was scolding Naruto for something. Kakashi was bringing up the rear, reading that book of his as he walked. Sai was busy asking his friends about the various things that came up in their argument. "I forgot how cute he was…." Her pride raising its ugly head again, she grabbed the side of the tree tightly, pealing away some bark. Her logic was faulty, but she didn't notice, or didn't care. 'If Shikamaru is doing something that makes me jealous, then I will return the favor!' That gave way to "You know… maybe it would be nice to spend some time with someone else….'

Keeping her distance, she began trailing after her fellow ninjas, formulating a plan as she ambled beneath the majestic trees. A double date. That might not be such a bad thing, _after_ all. Things would be less threatening that way. And, maybe she could use it as another step towards patching up her relationship with Sakura. Yes. That was a brilliant idea. Shikamaru wasn't the only genius in their group!

"As long as we aren't interested in the same boy, there shouldn't be any trouble." Ino remembered what her sensei had told her before his death. Asuma had said that her spirit was strong… that she was a helpful child… and that she should take care of Choji and Shikamaru, who were both very awkward. He also told her not to lose to Sakura in ninjutsu or in love. "She likes Naruto, I think…." She wrinkled up her nose. Even though she had come to like Naruto a lot more, he wasn't high on her list of 'hotties'. "Sai… on the other hand…._mmm-mm-m_." He was a bit of a mystery, alright. In a way, his looks reminded her a bit of Sasuke. "He called me Ms. Beautiful." She stopped a moment and frowned. He had also blurted out her feelings for Shikamaru in front of the assembly!

Hungry, she stopped at a street-side stall and bought a basket of small tomatoes. Chewing on one, she looked for a flash of pink, or the telltale orange jumpsuit. Wiping a bit of juice off of her chin, she nodded her head. Something orange had rolled across the street, further down. No doubt Naruto had said something that led Sakura to punch him again. That girl was freakishly strong! Hurrying along, she wanted to catch up before the three went their separate ways.

"**Sakura!"** Ino called out when she saw the pink-haired girl wave to her companions, as if she was ready to head off on her own. **"Wait! You **_**too,**_** Sai!"**

"Huh?" Sakura looked at her approaching friend. She and Ino had buried the hatchet so to speak, but there was still a long was to go before they were bosom buddies again, if ever. "I wonder what's up?" She frowned over at Naruto, who was whispering something in Sai's ear. He had really gotten on her nerves today!

"There's something I wanted to suggest," Ino replied, motioning for the other girl to step away from the two boys. "It's… well… none of us ever has a lot of time for this kind of thing…." She played with her hair a moment, trying to figure out the best way to say what was on her mind. "I thought it might be fun if… you know… the two of us would go out with a couple of guys we like…."

"_What?" _Sakura's eyes widened. She never would have expected anything like that, especially from Ino. She narrowed her eyes, wondering what had brought this on. "Shikamaru and…." She glanced at Naruto out of the corner of her eye. On any other day, she might actually consider such a suggestion.

"No! Not Shikamaru!" Obviously, Naruto's hearing was very good. "Not if she's talking about _today_." She scratched the back of his head. "I just saw him walk past with Temari." He pointed off to one side of the business district. "I was going to run over and say 'hello' to her." He got along very well with Gaara and his two siblings. That never ceased to leave him feeling cheerful, whenever he remembered how things had originally stood between them. "Double date, huh? I _never_ would have guessed that Sakura was your type…." He grinned.

"You…." Ino almost took the bait. Holding her breath for a moment, she calmed down. She knew that Naruto was joking. Still, she clenched and unclenched her fist, thinking of Shikamaru walking anywhere with the other girl. She made it a point to look over at Sai.

"He's been like that all day," Sakura said with an exaggerated sigh. If anything, that moment of shared annoyance helped break the ice some. "You don't know how lucky you are…." More than anything, she wished that the original Team 7 could reform. But, she was growing to trust Sai, and wouldn't really want to trade the village's noisiest and most unpredictable ninja for anyone else.

"Perhaps you should have asked Choji…." Sai offered. "…If Shikamaru has grown to favor a different girl. No doubt he would… _mrphl brgl grphlbrll_…." He raised one eyebrow, wondering why Sakura had her hand over his mouth.

"I…." Ino fought to maintain her cool. Sai wasn't making this easy. Not that it was going to be simple for her, in any case. "I was actually thinking of _you_, Sai…." There, she had said it. "And… seeing that… I thought that Sakura…."

"Would want to go out with me!" Naruto struck a Gai-like pose, thumbing himself in the chest. "According to Sai, she has a thing for me." He grinned, eyes closing. "Sakura always was a slow learner. Back when I had a big crush on her, it was Sasuke-this and Sasuke-that… hey, it was the same thing with _you_, too…." He opened his eyes and stared at Ino, surprised to see her blush. "But… nowadays… I'm not sure she'd be my type…." Talking big would cost him. Big time.

"**Idiot!"** Sakura connected with a frightful uppercut, sending Naruto flying. He landed on the umbrella of a large vending cart, causing the whole thing to collapse, nearly flattening the old man working the register. The 'Inner Sakura' was busy kicking the stuffing out of an imaginary Naruto. **"Don't believe everything you hear!"** She _did_ have feelings for her teammate. But, she had never brought herself to embrace something like that. It might have no place in a functioning team. And, she would hate to ruin the friendship she was forming with him.

"_Owww-ww-w_…." That was all that Naruto could say at the moment. He worked his hand seals, creating a number of Bunshin to extricate him from the tangled wreckage.

"I have heard that love is blind," Sai offered. A moment later, he too saw the scenic sight of the streets below him, before landing on top of Naruto.

"I wish they were _both_ blind." Sakura worked her arm to loosen up her shoulder. "Blind… deaf… and dumb…."

"It looks like they have the 'dumb' part down already," Ino quipped. That had her and the other girl sharing a shy smile.

"Yes," Sakura nodded her head enthusiastically. "You're right." She sighed. "Maybe… if you had picked some _other_ week…."

"It's OK," Ino said with a wave of her hand. "I don't doubt that Sai would feel more comfortable if either you or Naruto were around." She smiled, not about to give up on her idea. "I think I know a good replacement for you. I just hope that she doesn't faint again…." That last qualified left little doubt who she was talking about.

"That…." Sakura clearly caught on. Hinata. Ino was talking about Hinata. She didn't know how she would feel about Naruto going out with her. She might be shy and retiring, and no real threat. But, she also idolized Naruto, and would overlook his many flaws in a way that she herself couldn't do yet. "She…."

"Jealous?" Ino smiled. She was the last one who should be talking about envy at the moment. Then again, that was precisely why she hoped that Sakura was feeling the bite of the green-eyed monster.

"**No!" **Sakura put her hands on her hips, making a fierce face. Then, her features softened some. "_Maybe_…." She sighed. "I don't know…." She tried to look at things from everyone else's perspective. "It might be good for her."

"Yes," Ino said in agreement. "Just one date… and she would forget about Naruto forever…." That had the two of them grinning again.

"Hey! Sakura-chan! Are you two talking about _me_ again?" Naruto limped up, with Sai close behind him.

"Don't flatter yourself," Sakura said. "We're all agreed. You and Sai will be going on a double date with Ino and Hinata." She folded her arms across her chest, as if saying 'Don't even bother commenting. It's been decided for you.'

"But… what…." Naruto made a face, tugging at one ear. "Don't Sai and I have a say in the matter." He was getting irritated, since he hated the way that Sakura bossed them around at times. He had spent his early years crushing on Sakura. Them he had gone off to train with Ero-Sennin, and those feelings seemed to stay away when he returned to the village. Still, if he dated anyone, he kind of assumed it would be Sakura, despite what he had said. He hadn't given a lot of thought to Hinata yet, even though Sai had blurted out her secret at the last shinobi meeting.

"No," Ino and Sakura said at the same time. "And don't bother being contrary…." Ino hadn't been born yesterday. She had a good idea of how a guy's mind worked. Shikamaru could be a poster boy for passive-aggressive behavior. Choji was as needy as they came.

"There may be a beneficial aspect to this," Sai said to Naruto. "You seem to suffer injuries when you interact with our teammate." He rubbed his own jaw. It was sore. He wondered if a tooth might be loose. "In speaking with Kiba the other day, he mentioned the Hyuuga girl. He and Shino believe that you could get her to do anything you might like…."

"Anything?" Naruto's face went stiff. He blinked rapidly, before smiling. He was thinking about ramen and anime. But, seeing how he had tried on any number of occasions to show Sakura his newest perverted jutsu, it shouldn't be surprising that Ino and Sakura were thinking something else. "Al_riiii-iii-ii-ight_…." He rubbed his hands together.

"**Pig!"** Sakura usually reserved that word for the girl standing next to her. **"Jerk!" **That word did not have a similar exclusivity for Ino. They both connected with attacks at the same exact moment.

"Hah!" Naruto crowed, thumbing his nose at the girls. "Missed!" It was a clone that had taken the beating. "Girls aren't a big deal," he said, unwisely turning his back to speak with Sai again. This time, the two kunoichi did _not _miss.

"Girls are scary," Sai said. "Our date should wait until tomorrow. I will need to visit the library again." He had reading to do about dating. It would be better for his health, if he didn't make mistakes the way that Naruto did.

"As long as you don't read any of those _Icha Icha_ books!" Sakura shook her fist at Sai, who took a step back out of reflex.

"He'll will be fine," Ino said, tossing her hair.

**xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx**

The air was brisk and filled with scents.

Ino smiled, catching a whiff of something wonderful cooking, down by the center of the village. She closed her eyes, drinking other odors that seemed so fresh, not longer after a quick rain.

It was a beautiful day. She had spent a lot of time in front of the mirror, making certain that she looked her best, too. Toying with the idea of stopping by Shikamaru's place first, ostensibly for no apparent reason, she quickly killed that notion. The day would be ruined if she came across that other girl there.

"You're not feeling to nervous to go through with this,_ are _you?" Ino looked over at Hinata. He other girl had said very few words since the two of them had met at the gate to the Hyuuga estate. "I'm sure that Naruto would understand…."

"I'm… ummm… I'm fine…." Hinata almost walked into a lamp post. She was anything but fine. She was struggling mightily, trying to figure out something she could say to Naruto. Anything! "I think…." While this was only a friendly double date, there was a lot more on the line for her than there would be for some other girl.

"He'll be very impressed," Ino said, feeling a touch of envy. She had chosen one of her nicest outfits, with a colorful top and a classy skirt, the two leaving a good bit of her midriff bare, without making her look like a slut or something. She shouldn't have any doubts that Sai would be left speechless. But, Hinata had traded in her ninja clothing and trademark coat for a lovely dress. Her make-up was impeccable, and there were small gemstones strung through her lustrous long hair.

"I… well… I _hope_ so…." Hinata came all too close to falling down an open manhole cover, totally oblivious to the orange plastic cones that signaled danger. "I did my best…."

"If he doesn't like it, then he doesn't _deserve_ the attention of a girl like you!" Ino was feeling somewhat responsible for Hinata, since she had dragged the other girl into this. If something happened that crushed her friend's dreams, she would be devastated, even if it the turn of events might benefit her in the long run. "I wonder if Sai and Naruto bothered to dress up, too…." The answer was soon in coming.

"Ohhh…." Hinata caught sight of something, just before she caught a door that opened right in her face. She apologized for walking to close to a woman's doorstep. "There they are."

It had been simple enough to notice Naruto again. He was wearing his usual orange jumpsuit. But, to his credit, he was wearing a clean set. Standing near him, Sai was a sight to see. Long ankle length robes looked like something out of a past generation or a storybook. It was Ino's turn to narrowly avoid disaster, as she just missed being hit by a basin of wash water thrown off of an overhead balcony.

"Greetings," Sai said when the girls walked up. He held out a bouquet. "Girls like flowers," he recited, remembering something he read. He cocked his head, seeing how Ino reacted. It seemed that girls did _indeed_ like cut blossoms. "I hope I did well enough."

"You did great," Ino gushed. She wondered if he had gotten them from her shop. It would be a fine coincidence if he had! "You look great, too." Suddenly, she didn't find it very easy to think about Shikamaru. Temari who?

"Hinata?" Naruto rubbed his eyes, seeing Hinata. _"Hinata??" _He walked over and looked at her closer up, circling her like a moon orbiting a planet. _**"Hinata??"**_

"Ummm… yes…." Hinata rubbed her fingers together, unable to stop her habitual reflex. She didn't know what to make of Naruto's behavior.

"Yes, it's Hinata." Ino made a pained face. She didn't want Naruto to ruin things. Sai had gotten things off to such a wonderful start. "She obviously made quite an effort to look nice." The way she said that was a clear condemnation of his own efforts.

"You…." Naruto stood staring for few moments. "You really…." He had to cough to clear his throat. The way he moved one hand in front of his face made it look like he though he might be viewing a mirage. "You really look _hot_…." His eyes went wide. He actually blushed before smacking himself in the forehead, "I mean… you look really cute!"

"Mmm…." Hinata blushed and looked down at her feet. She hadn't noticed the way that Ino had scowled when Naruto said 'hot'. "Thank you very much. You look nice, too." He was wearing his necklace on the outside today. There was something different about the way he had done his hair, too. Very much aware of every detail, she noticed things that the other girl couldn't have picked up on.

"Naruto," Sai said, tugging on his teammate's sleeve. "Women are 'Pretty'. They are not 'Cute'."

"That's right, Sai!" Ino took hold of Sai's arm, causing him to look somewhat perplexed.

"I said that Hinata's cute," Naruto said, sounding a touch belligerent. "I _meant_ that she's cute." He folded both arms over his chest and stuck out his chin. "She very pretty, too." Not to be outdone, he held his arm out, feeling a bit uneasy about that kind of thing. He swallowed hard when Hinata took hold. At least he didn't come close to passing out, the way that she did!

"I believe he is telling the truth," Sai stated, reading Naruto's face. "One should never lie to women. They always find out the truth." He looked over at Naruto. "However… as you should know… eye contact is best made above the shoulders…." That had Naruto looking up at the sky, Hinata putting a hand over her modest amount of exposed cleavage, and Ino looking like she was ready to open a can of whoop-ass. "Saying something sweet will sometimes get you off the hook. Doing something sweet will _always_ get you off the hook."

"Huh?" Naruto put one hand behind his neck. Then, his eyes widened. He had forgotten something. "Hey! Hinata! I almost forgot!" He began rummaging inside of his carry bag. "I didn't get you flowers. I got you something _better!" _That had Ino making a sour face. Jewelry would be the only thing that might be better than flowers. She hoped that he hadn't gotten Hinata something tacky and cliché like candy. "Here… they're all for you…." He handed a small booklet to the white-eyed girl.

"Naruto-kun?" Hinata flipped open the book. It contained a number of tickets, each of them good for one free bowl of ramen at the Ichiraku Ramen Bar. "Are these just for me…." Hinata forced herself to finish her question. It was a risk; but, Naruto had taught her the necessity of taking chances sometimes. "Or… ummm… could we use them _together_…."

"**Sure!" **Naruto smiled, his whole face lighting up. Sakura always turned him down. He saluted her and nodded his head. **"Believe it!" **He stared at Hinata again, seeing her in a new light.

"What are those?" Ino gently took the booklet from Hinata's hand. "You can't be… _geee-ee-ez_…." What a terrible gift to bring a girl at the beginning of the first date. At the beginning, middle, or end of _any _date! That boy was hopeless. At least Sai had made a big effort to learn things that might prove practical. He was her new hero.

"Thank you, Naruto-kun." Hinata's face blossomed, as if it were a bud opening. He eyes sparkled nearly as much as the gems in her hair. "This is… I think… it's the nicest gift anyone _ever_ gave me…." 

She was being sincere. No, she wasn't all that fond of noodles. At least, not yet. But, he had given her the chance to spend more time with him. What more could she have asked for? She looked ready to swoon.

"Hinata looks very happy," Sai observed. "Perhaps his choice of a gift was better than mine." He pursed his lips. "I will take note of that."

"No!" Ino nearly shouted. "Flowers are _always_ great. Trust me." She started to pull him along with her. "And, when you go out with a girl, wear _her _favorite outfit, not yours." She meant 'her favorite outfit of yours.'

"**Hah!" **Naruto laughed. "I could see Sai wearing one of Ino's outfits…." He stopped and stared at his friend. "You know… early on… the two of you _did _dress somewhat alike…." He nodded his head, looking at Hinata. "Sai used to show a lot of belly, too. Some people couldn't tell if he was a boy or a girl!" He nudged Hinata gently, which had her squeaking. "Know what I mean?"

"Ummm…." Hinata looked over at Ino and Sai. "Yes…." It was true. Normally she wouldn't say anything that might hurt a friend's feeling. But, she didn't feel so bad, agreeing with Naruto that way. She felt her face growing warm.

"Women like a gentleman," Ino said somewhat crossly. She gave Naruto the evil eye, wondering if a double date was a good idea after all. "Not someone who feels they need to act like a clown all of the time to get attention."

"I read that as well," Sai added, nodding his head. "I also read that being attentive is good. If you did something wrong… or even if you didn't…apologize." He smiled, seeing Ino give him a 'V' sign. "As for clothing, think boxers. Silk boxers." He held one finger up as if he were giving a lecture.

"That's a bit…." Ino couldn't get her word in edgewise. Neither she nor Hinata needed to think about silk underwear. Sai wasn't as much as an authority as he sounded. Now he was spitting out random things that he had come across.

"Two words," Sai continued, happy to share the fruits of his research. "Clean socks." He pulled up on his robe to give testimony to the fact that he had followed that rule to the letter. "Hair gel does not equal a shower. Aftershave does not equal soap. Warm is not as good as clean." He ducked his head when a strong gust of wind blew his robes tightly around him. "And always try to remember that 'No' means No. 'Yes' means Yes. Girls don't like it when you act like Mr. Big; they like it when you _are _Mr. Big."

"You… I think…." Ino closed her eyes. She had forgotten just how clueless Sai was. He might look uber-cool; but, he was a naïve as they came!

"Hey! I don't _need _to brag about how big I am!" Naruto said in jaunty fashion. Then, he realized just what he had said. He caught Hinata before she hit the ground. When she was steady on her feet again, he let her go and started running towards his building. He stopped.

"Where are you going?!" Ino stamped one foot. That imbecile! He better not be headed back to get on a pair of silken anything!

"I need some clean socks," Naruto said. "And a shower." He waited long enough to see Ino react. Then, he ran back and chuckled. "I was just kidding. I showered. Twice, even!" He took Hinata's arm again, and winked at her. That had her turning pink again. "Why does everyone think I'm some kind of idiot?" He didn't give anyone a chance to answer. "I know some things, too!" He struck a Lee-like pose. "Women really don't mind if you open doors and pull out chairs. You don't always have to pay for everything. You don't have to wait three days after the first date to call. Sometimes they need to 

talk about problems. The toilet seat thing really _does_ matter." He was going too quickly, speaking before thinking. "It's OK to kiss on the first date… I mean…."

"**Hinata!" **Ino hung her head. Hinata had fainted again. "Good job, Naruto."

"I should write those down," Sai said, bringing out his scroll and ink pen. He stopped mid sentence. "Should I have practiced the kissing thing?" He wondered what Ino's jaw dropped. She probably forgot to practice, too!

"Let's just go get some dinner," Ino said, her face flaming. Worst part of it was, she actually began thinking about kissing. It wasn't Shikamaru's face she saw at first. But then, when did picture him, and he was kissing Temari, she began walking twice as fast, practically dragging poor Sai along after her.

"You know," Naruto said, marching along at pace that Hinata had trouble matching in high heels. "We _could_ use some of Hinata's tickets, if she doesn't mind…." There was no such thing as too much ramen, too often. "…And bring the food back to my place to watch some anime!"

"Ummm…." Hinata held tighter to Naruto's arm. She would get to go back to his place. That was almost a fairy tale land, to her. "I would like that…."

"Hinata didn't get all dressed up to eat noodles and watch some stupid movie." Ino said in a huff. She certainly wouldn't be caught dead in Naruto's apartment, and had no desire whatsoever to slurp down noodles, even if it was with Sai. "You should think about doing what the_ girl _wants…." She added 'Moron' under her breath. "I'm sure Sai is sophisticated enough to want to eat at a fancy restaurant."

"Dating is about two people coming together to see whether they are compatible, and then enjoying each other's company in a way that will foster formation of a close bond." Sai didn't really care where he ate. Food had never been a big thing to him. He still didn't understand why some people placed such a strong emotional context on things that they ate, considering that anything put into their mouths would be exiting from the other end in a relatively short period of time. " In doing so, there are things that you should remember."

"Yes teacher." The way Naruto said that had Hinata giggling. He smiled, liking the fact that she appreciated his sense of humor. Hinata was a lot cooler than he ever would have imagined. This date thing was fun after all!

"Pay attention," Ino said with a perfunctory wave of her hand. "You _might_ learn something." She felt a slight bit of trepidation. Sai wouldn't toss in any more of those random and off color 'truths' again, _would _he?

Naruto mouthed 'You might learn something' and walked like Ino, until she turned to look back at them. That had Hinata feeling as if her heart might explode. She had never enjoyed herself in this way before.

"Dating should always be fun and it is your responsibility to ensure that it is." Sai pondered the true meaning of that. How could he make things fun, if he didn't yet have the best grasp of what fun _was? _"When you are dating, ensure that you do everything you can to make the outing enjoyable."

"That's right," Ino said. "You are doing a great job." She looked back at Naruto and sighed. Poor Hinata.

"Are you having fun, Hinata?" Naruto looked a bit concerned, since deep down, he was a very considerate person. He walked taller when Hinata nodded her head, a look of adoration on her face.

"Eye contact is crucial when dating, so it is good etiquette to provide as much attention as possible to your date." Sai chose the wrong time to practice that. He ran smack dab into a stack of boxes put out for trash collection and flipped over. But, graceful as a gazelle, he managed to land back on his feet and keep walking without missing a beat. That left Ino speechless. "Your date should feel that she is the only person in the room. If you use the date as an excuse for general partying, then you will fail."

"Huh?" Naruto scratched behind one ear. "I'd rather have Hinata feel that she and I were the only _two_ people in a room." He was being a wise guy again. But, he wouldn't shed a single tear if he didn't have to spend any more time tonight with Ino. "Of course… if I was the one with Ino… I would want to think she was alone…." He ducked when Ino took a piece of rubbish that Sai had knocked loose and threw it at him.

"Mmm hmm." Hinata felt that she and Naruto were the only two people alive. She hardly noticed that Ino and Sai were there.

The group of them made there way through heavier crowds of pedestrians and patrolling ninjas. They were in the heart of the village now, near the best eateries that Konoha had to offer. Ino obviously had a particular destination in mind. When they reached the sidewalk in front of one of the more posh establishments in the Fire Country, she wrinkled up her nose. There was a line to get in. She should have thought to make reservations.

"You will be courteous and complimentary," Sai lectured, seeing that they had time to burn and this was a very appropriate topic of conversation. "Your date has made an effort for you, and any unwanted personal opinions are not welcome at this stage." He smiled when Ino grinned at him. Why did it feel nice when a girl did that? He had read a lot about what a man should do, but couldn't find anything detailing what a man should _feel. _"As a man you must never talk to a woman's breasts. They hate it." He needed to repeat the fact that he had mentioned earlier. Naruto could be a slow learner at times. The punishment he received from Sakura on a daily basis was clear indication of that. "Appreciating a girl for her feminine charms is one thing; but, talking to her breasts is down right rude and is not acceptable. So, hold her gaze throughout."

Ino didn't know whether to applaud or frown. Sai was absolutely right. But, did he _really_ need to say that kind of thing in front of her and Hinata? "I think…."

"Feminine charm, good." Naruto held up one finger for Hinata to see. "Breasts, bad." He held up a second finger and wiggled both of them. Instead of looking shocked or ashamed, Hinata simply smiled.

"Precisely," Sai said. "You should not be flashy or extravagant. Those are the things that the classless rich do, trying to impress people with their wealth. It shows a lack of taste to throw your money about and entertain with champagne, unless you are simply after cheap thrills." Sai paused. What exactly _were_ cheap thrills? He didn't remember having thrills of _any_ kind, actually. He shrugged. "Smoking and drinking in copious fashion is bad, unless the love of those is shared by _both _parties. Smoking in a restaurant will do nothing for your image and shows crass disregard for others."

"OK," Naruto said. "That won't be a problem." He never had much of a taste for alcohol, even when he managed to sneak some of the swill that Jiraiya had called sake. Now that Asuma was dead, the only person he knew who smoked was Shikamaru, and he wondered how long that might go on. He grinned, thinking about his friend. "I hope Shikamaru knows that breasts are bad." He whistled innocently when Ino almost tripped over the woman in front of her.

"Naruto-kun…." Hinata made a major effort to speak up. She didn't want to do or say anything that might change Naruto's behavior towards her, but a girl like her had her limits. "Please behave…." She stiffened up when he glared at her for a moment, but felt justified when he finally smiled and nodded his head.

"You tell him, Hinata!" Ino stood with her hands on her hips, giving Naruto a 'You don't see Sai acting like a jerk' look. So far, in her eyes, Sai could do no wrong. She was obviously the more fortunate of the two girls.

"I will remind him," Sai promised. "I hope you will remember this too, Naruto. You should never argue or be rude to others on a date, since it simply is unacceptable. It is important to show your good side, and arguing with waiters and chefs will make you look a fool." He raised an eyebrow when he heard Ino whisper 'Sai is so cool.' It looked as if all of his reading had proven effective. He doubted that she thought Naruto was cool. "You should make it a point to be a good listener, and not talk your date to death. Listening shows interest and the ability to compromise. If your idea of a date is talking about yourself and your opinions all night, then you should do everyone a favor and stay at home."

"**Amen!" **Ino said, louder than she had intended. A grumpy looking man and his wife turned to turn up their nose at her. The small dog in the woman's arm did the same.

"I…." Hinata shook her head. She didn't care what might be right fore other girls. "I wouldn't mind… ummm…." She truly hated being shy. But, she felt as if she had loosened up some, regardless of how she might seem to others. "Naruto can tell me anything he wants to."

"Cool!" Naruto smiled a big smile again. Sakura always shut him up when he got going, and they were never even together on anything resembling a date. "But… you know…." He looked very serious at that moment. "I want to learn about you _too_, Hinata-chan…." That had Hinata reaching out to steady herself by grabbing hold of a iron fence. He had shown interest in her. He had called her 'Hinata-chan!'

"Everything in it's time," Ino said, admonishing Naruto. "You shouldn't rush her. Don't forget how shy Hinata is. Especially around you."

"That is true," Sai said, gaining even more of Ino's admiration. "She _is_ rather shy. And Kakashi calls you the village's noisiest ninja." He blinked rapidly when Ino gave him a quick hug after hearing that. Was that a come on? He had read about those. Did that mean she expected physical contact? He thought a moment, thinking back to one particular text. No. It probably wouldn't be a good thing to put his hand on her posterior. At least, not yet.

"Sure, everyone knows that Hinata is shy." Naruto looked over at Hinata. "But she tries very hard. I don't know if _anyone _tries harder than she does." He would have mentioned himself, except for the fact that he actually _was_ capable of learning. They were on a date, after all. He should do whatever he could to make Hinata feel as special as possible. "I really like a person like that. However long it until she wants to talk is fine with me."

Hinata clasped her hands together. She felt so light in spirit, that she wondered if she might float up to the clouds. It had taken an act of courage to accept Ino's offer for a double date. Her bravery had paid off better than she ever would have imagined.

"Let's see… what else…." Sai pursed his lips. "OK. That is important, I think. You should never discuss your ex-dates or how many people you have slept with. Those kind of things should remain an enigma. As a man, you should never allow yourself to be convinced to talk about sex, no matter how the woman tries to provoke you. Ignore this message at your peril. The longer you sustain the mystery, the better your chances." He wasn't certain what any of that meant. But, someone had marked it with a yellow highlighter, so it must be important.

Ino, Naruto, and Hinata stood with their mouths open for a few moments. Ino couldn't believe what she had just heard. There was such a things as being too clueless. Naruto frowned once the shock wore off. If _he_ had said something like that, Ino would have folded him up like a cot.. In a strange trick of the light, Hinata's eyes looked like they were spinning.

"So… Hinata… that's a very nice dress…." Ino rushed to change the topic. Everyone was looking at their group and whispering. "Where did you buy it?" She engaged her friend in conversation, leaving Sai to talk with Naruto.

"Where did you _read_ all that?" Naruto tugged at one ear. Sai sounded like a walking book. Most of what he said made sense, though. "It certainly wasn't in here…." He took out a copy of the latest _Icha Icha _book, the one he had ghostwritten part of. His eyes widened a moment after that. Seeing what he had done, more than half of the men in line took out their own copy of that book, holding them up for him to see.

"_Hmmm-mm-m_…." Sai ran a hand through his hair, looking at the book Naruto held. "It seems to be very popular… with men who are much more experienced than I am…." He held his hand out, palm up. "Perhaps I should see what advice your former mentor has to offer…."

"**Don't**… **you**… **dare**…." Ino materialized, as if out of no where. She grabbed the book from Naruto and sent it arcing over the restaurant. She wished that it could have been the boy instead of the book. "There's nothing wrong with being a complete innocent!" She was beginning to feel sorry for Sakura.

"Well…." Naruto made a face. If he had still been a child, he would pull sown on one eyelid and stick his tongue out. "There goes my dinner conversation…." He quickly turned and tried to look innocent when Hinata glanced his way. He had to be careful of the kind of things he joked about when she was within earshot.

Finally, after only a slightly longer wait, they were shown to a very nice table inside the restaurant. Naruto looked very uncomfortable, looking around. He swallowed hard when he picked up a menu and looked at the prices. Under the table, he took out the frog purse and shook it.

"It's OK," Hinata said to him, correctly surmising why he had begun to sweat. "See…." She held something up. It was a Hyuuga Platinum card. She blushed when she saw Naruto mouth 'You rock.'

After they all ordered, and before their meals arrived, the four friends had a wonderful time. Ino actually found herself warming to Naruto, much to her surprise. Sai looked as if every moment was a revelation.

If only things could have stayed that way.

**xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx**

The service was exquisite.

None of the four ninjas had ever been pampered like that any time in their lives. At no extra cost, the serving girl refrained from saying anything about Naruto's outfit.

"To friends," Naruto said, proposing a toast. "And to finding out things you might have missed." He was amazed at how comfortable he felt around Hinata. It was nice having a girl nod her head and smile, instead of frowning and stomping on his feet.

"Cheers," Ino said, banging her glass against those of the other three shinobi.

"Hear hear," Hinata said, remembering how her father did the family toasts.

"I should hit my glass against yours?" Sai looked puzzled again. "That has some significance?" There had been no reason to learn such things while he was still a member of Root.

"It's called making a toast," Naruto said. He really liked Sai a lot these days, despite the way the two had locked horns at first. There was a benefit to that friendship. He didn't feel so stupid at times, having someone around who was even more clueless than he was. Lee fit that description too, but a little bit of Rock Lee went a long way!

"Toast?" Sai rubbed his chin. "Toast is bread that has been browned by exposure to dry heat. Toasting warms the bread and also makes it crisp, so that it holds toppings more securely." He picked up a piece of bread from a cloth-covered basket. It had been toasted lightly. "Toasting is also a common method of making stale bread more palatable, is it not?" He wasn't making any kind of commentary. The bread was delicious.

"_Some_ people are cute when they're clueless," Ino remarked, shocked to find herself thinking about reaching out and holding Sai's hand.

"I'll remember you said that," Naruto said, pointing at Ino and turning to Hinata as a witness.

"I should mention that it is not appropriate to call men 'cute' either," Sai said, remembering something else that he had learned.

"In girl-speak, 'cute' is a _good_ thing." Ino smiled. "I know that some guys go into convulsions at that word." She made a point to look over at Naruto. He picked up a piece of bread and bit into it in exaggerated fashion, sending a shower of crumbs into his lap. He then jumped when Hinata unfolded his napkin and placed it there for him. That had Ino chuckling. "If we say you're cute, you should be very impressed."

"Girl-speak?" Sai looked like he had stumbled upon yet another great question of existence. Did girls have a separate language? "I fail to see why I am clueless _this_ time."

"A toast is an act or a drink in honor of someone or something," Hinata offered kindly. "The act of toasting has three parts: the verbal toast… the agreement… and the symbolic drink. Everyone present signifies agreement by lifting their drinks into the air, often accompanied by sounds of the agreement, which can include repeating the toast word or confirming the sentiment with terms such as 'Hear! Hear!'"

"Followed by touching one's glass against those of everyone else within reach," Naruto added. "But… don't bother trying to learn girl-speak…." He sounded stern. "If you do… you'll turn into a girl…."

"_Really?" _Sai turned to Hinata for confirmation. Was there some kind of forbidden jutsu involved? The white-eyed girl shook her head subtly.

"Cute," Ino said. "So very cute." Seeing that Sai's napkin still sat on the table top, she did for him what Hinata had done for Nauto. Boys! You just can't take them anywhere. But, that was OK. She never could have seen herself doing something like that for Shikamaru. In fact, she preferred dining with Sai. If her teammate would have been there, the wait to get in would have been 'bothersome;' the price of the meals would have been 'troublesome;' and the whole conversation would been some similar synonym. That kind of thing had been nostalgic when Team 10 went for Korean beef BarBQ, but was out of place in a fine establishment like this one. She sighed, thinking of her dead sensei.

"You really miss him, _don't_ you?" Naruto had his moments of blinding insight. This was one of them. "I think we should have another toast." He was surprised by the grateful look that Ino gave him.

"To Asuma-sensei," Ino said, holding her glass up. "We'll miss you. But we'll never forget the things that you taught us."

"Hear hear," Sai said, after touching his glass to everyone else's. Naruto and Hinata repeated those words.

When the food arrived, everyone attacked it with gusto, in their own fashion. Ino showed Sai what each of the various utensils was for. Hinata, a veteran of countless dinnertime rules, made certain that Naruto didn't do anything to embarrass himself, or the four of them as a group. The meal was so good, that Sai almost began to understand the love affair some people have with food.

"It sounds like someone is having fun." Naruto said, hearing a loud shout coming from the other side of the room. That was followed by all manner of excited cheers and whistles.

"That is the bar area," Sai observed, looking in the direction of the brief ruckus. "I had almost forgotten about that. It should provide the perfect opportunity to practice. The book said that it is a necessary skill to learn." He sounded very adamant. The books had been quite specific. For him to be his best around women, there were techniques to perfect. Perfecting them would allow him to act in a manner that women expected.

"Practice?" Ino wondered what Sai was talking about. Did he mean practicing more toasts? They could do that kind of thing at the table, if necessary. Well, whatever it was, she should encourage it. He was making great strides in such a short period of time. "OK. Lead on. You're the expert here." She gave Hinata a wink, saying that. It had the other girl grinning again. She was doing a lot of that this evening.

"Hmm-mm-m…." Sai looked over at Ino for a moment, and then nodded his head. "Maybe we _should_ bring them with us, Naruto. I previously read that success in something helps one learn better." That had Ino and Hinata looking at one another. Naruto simply shrugged, took one more bite of veal, wiped his mouth, and stood. To be honest, he had learned a lot that night. But, he also wouldn't mind if this was another Sai-moment.

The diners headed over to the crowded corner of the building. There was a huge bar made from ancient polished wood, surrounded by massive bronze-rimmed mirrors. Huge numbers of glasses hung like glittering stalactites. Bottles and their colorful labels were everywhere, in awe-inspiring number. Busy bartenders made valiant efforts to keep up with their clientele.

"First," Sai said to Naruto, holding up one finger. "We should pick the best real estate in the club." He ignored Naruto's 'This is not a club. Trust me, I've been to enough of those with the old hermit.' He maneuvered his noisier friend over to one particular spot. "In business, there are three fundamentals: location, location, and location. The anecdotes of the author were rather illustrative. Numerous times he had viewed hot women in a bar from afar, but was stuck over at a table with his friends."

"Stuck at the table?" Ino frowned. She did not like the sound of that, even though in the back of her mind she knew Sai was merely being Sai. Just where was he going with all this?

"Hot women?" Hinata brought her hand to her mouth, looking over at the bar. There were a number of attractive older women there. Most of them dressing in a revealing manner that she wouldn't even dream about.

"These women aren't so hot," Naruto said unwisely. "The stories I could tell you…." He swallowed hard. Ino's face was frightening for a moment, looking more like an Oni than a girl. He didn't have any problem with that. In contrast, the uncharacteristic look in Hinata's eyes had his knees shaking ever so slightly. He quickly shook his head when Sai asked if _he_ wanted to teach the lesson.

"I should continue, then." Sai adjusted his robes, ran a hand through his hair, and then surveyed his surroundings. "You want to be mobile and ready to nonchalantly get near any woman who interests you. You will want a spot that offers good visibility and high traffic, so as to be able to interact with a sufficient number of people. It is useless to be holed up in a booth in the corner. In the pickup game, 

it's also good to have an excuse for being where you are. That could mean being in line for drinks at the bar… or waiting to get into restroom … so you do not look like a stalker." He cocked his head again, wondering why Ino was growing red in the face and clenching her fists. Perhaps she already knew all this.

"Pick-up game…." Ino was just about to grab Sai by the arm and tug him away.

"As I mentioned before, being attentive is good. Stalking is bad. You should learn the difference." Sai wondered why Hinata suddenly developed a keen interest in her own shoes. "Consider yourself to be a businessman. You are in the picking-up business. It is wise to adjust your location constantly, taking advantage of the traffic patterns, and maintaining a good line of sight." He took a few steps closer to the bar, following his own instructions.

"He's expressing himself," Naruto said, throwing Ino's words back at her, seeing that she looked ready to explode. Earlier at dinner, she had asked Naruto's and Ino's sufferance as Sai tried to come to terms with the numerous things present in high society. "It would hurt his growth, if you stop him now." He flinched again, when Hinata shook her head. How did she suddenly have some kind of hold on him? He dreaded that disapproving look almost as much as he feared Sakura's punches.

"But…." Ino had to fight to keep from shouting. This was a double date, with emphasis on the word date. It was _not_ some kind of swinging singles seminar. At least, it better not be! "There's a right way and a wrong way!"

"Ahhh… I feared as much…." Sai looked somewhat troubled. "That is one reason I want to practice. Should I begin by trying out pick-up lines on you?" He wondered why Naruto covered his mouth and began snickering. That was hardly gentlemanly behavior. He should act his best in front of his date!

"No…." Ino waved her hands frantically. "You don't have to do _that_…." Somehow, Sai and pick-up lines just didn't seem to go together.

"I see," Sai replied, looking somewhat relived. "Then it seems that my seduction has been a success, even though I never made any conscious efforts. Perhaps this is not as difficult as the literature suggested."

"_What?" _Ino tensed up even more. "I didn't… I mean you didn't…."

"You should practice on Hinata before we move on to more advanced lessons," Sai told Naruto. He frowned when Naruto looked over at Hinata and shook his head. "I have never known you to be a coward before. We are teammates. I need to know I can trust you." He continued to ignore Ino's enraged stammering. "I will offer you a number of suitable examples. Perhaps that will make things seem less threatening for you."

"But…." Naruto couldn't get a word in either. He looked at Hinata and shrugged. This should at least be interesting.

"Try this: What does it feel like to be the most beautiful girl in this room?" Sai tried to sound casual and experienced. "You know, you might be asked to leave soon. You're making the other women look really bad." He shook his robe in a grand flourish. "When I'm older looking back at all of my finest memories, and I'll think of the day my children were born, the day I got married, and the day that I met you. "

"Hey! Those aren't bad!" Naruto slapped Sai on the back. "They're true too!" His eyes went wide when he realized what he had said. He couldn't meet Hinata's eyes at the moment.

"That's a relief." Ino didn't look happy, but she had been afraid of what Sai might say. "I think that's enough for…." She was cut-off again.

"You might also consider these: Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk by again?" Sai was picking up steam. He felt vindicated, after his first few suggestions had caused Hinata to smile. **"**Do you have a map? I just keep on getting lost in your eyes." He tried that one on Ino. She actually had a dreamy look on her face for a moment, before shaking her head and returning to reality. "I'm not drunk, I'm just intoxicated by you." Now for some things that he had read in a definitive text. "Your Daddy must have been a Baker, because you got the nicest set of buns I've ever saw." Why did Hinata twitch like that? "You know how they say skin is the largest organ? Not in my case!" He asked a waiter for a glass of water when Naruto began choking. "Have you ever kissed a rabbit between the ears?" He pulled out the two pockets on his robes. They looked like the ears of a large white animal. "Would you like to?"

"Sai!" Ino took the boy by the arms and shook him until his head rocked back and forth. "I think that's enough!"

"I apologize," Sai said sedately, his equilibrium thrown off temporarily. "You are probably correct. Naruto has proven a quick learner when he's motivated." That had Naruto and Hinata both looking down at their feet this time. "I should move on to lesson number two." He began walking up to the bar. "Befriend the bartender or barmaid. Buy him or her a shot at the beginning of the night to get on his or her good side. This will help you get quicker service when you want to buy a woman a drink. Being connected, especially at a hot club, makes you look like a big shot, which can only help your chances. And who knows, you may just wind up picking up the barmaid." He still wasn't clear on _that_ part. Maybe it was simply his lack of experience. Everything comes in time.

"She _is_ pretty sweet…." Naruto looked over at a rather large-chested girl tending bar. He yelped. Hinata had pinched him. She had actually pinched him!

"Good evening, Ma'am." Sai addressed the barmaid. "Could I buy you a drink? We can use my friend's money…." He motioned at Naruto. "The poor fool bet that I wouldn't be able to start a conversation with the most beautiful girl in the room." That had the girl smiling and accepting his offer. She also wrote her phone number on a cocktail napkin and slid it towards Sai.

"You really should remember that we are on a date," Ino said as she swiped the napkin and tore it into tiny shreds. It wasn't as if this was really a big deal or anything. But, there _were_ certain proprieties to follow.

"I apologize again," Sai said, looking a tad crestfallen. She really did want to please. "I did not intend to monopolize things. Feel free to flirt with that gentleman serving drinks over there, if you like. You may not have a better opportunity."

"Th-… Th-… Th-…." Ino was left speechless.

"She probably needs time to think something up." Naruto tried to sound serious. "Girls mature slower than boys." He wasn't going to back down from every one of Hinata's looks. It was about time she learned that. Uzumaki Naruto was not some kind of wussy man.

"I should put things to the test," Sai claimed cheerfully. "It doesn't do anyone any good to simply read about a jutsu. Techniques must be practiced repeatedly." He looked back at Naruto. "Many people believe that pickup lines are lame, since most women consistently rank honesty and a sense of humor very highly as desirable qualities in a man. A pickup line seems too premeditated, which makes it seem dishonest, and to women, dishonesty is threatening, not funny."

"Damn," Naruto said with false anger. "I was going to use that Baker one on Hinata." He smiled when the white-eyed girl tripped over a barstool, bringing a whole stack of napkins down with her. He gallantly helped her up.

"Not all people feel the same way," Sai continued. "Women looking for men at a bar might well enjoy that kind of banter." A few women near him actually nodded their heads and smiled. "I am merely saying that it is wise to consider various approaches, just as it makes sense to learn more than one jutsu. It may be good to break the ice by commenting on the current situation, preferably in a humorous way. Or, you might find some pretext in which to ask her to resolve some question for you. Alternatively, you might ask for her opinion on something pertinent."

"Hinata…." Naruto cleared his throat and winked. He stood straighter and spoke with a deeper voice. "What do you think of Sai's advice?"

"Umm-mm-m…." Hinata didn't know what to say. She shuffled her feet, realizing that Naruto had been making a joke.

"Now. Pay attention. I will start things off." Sai walked up to the nearest woman. "If I told you that you had a great body, would you hold it against me?"

"_Geee-ee-ez_…." Naruto slapped his forehead. That was the oldest one in the book. Even Ero-Sennin wouldn't touch that one with a ten foot pole. "That will never work." He stood stunned when the woman smiled and turned to face Sai.

"Do you believe in the hereafter?" Sai was doing his best to recall specific lines he had learned. "Well, then I guess you know what I'm here after." That had the woman reaching out to touch him on the hand. "I wonder what our children will look like?" That had the woman laughing and offering to buy him a drink.

"Sai…." It looked like Ino had put up with the boy's nonsense for long enough.

"Thank you," Sai said, refusing the drink. Having been successful, he needed a new target. He went to stand by a different woman. "That's a nice shirt. Can I talk you out of it?"

"Watch…." Naruto had already begun to cringe. "He's going to get slapped." It didn't happen.

Sai's words had a number of men spitting out their drinks or choking. But, the woman appeared intrigued, either by his looks or his seemingly bold approach. "Will you help me find my lost puppy," Sai asked. "I think he went into the cheap motel around the corner." The woman introduced herself and asked his name.

"_S-a-i_…." Ino was trembling with rage, now. A number of people quickly stepped away from her.

"Oh my…." Hinata walked over to speak with her friend, hoping to calm her down.

"I am very pleased to meet you," Sai told the woman, before moving on to another girl. "Believe it or not, getting laid is still hard when you're this good-looking." He was still rather sketchy on the whole idea of getting laid. It didn't matter, however. He was obviously doing well. A little more practice ought to suffice. Then it would be Naruto's turn. Ino's and Hinata's, too. If finding love was hard work, they wouldn't get anywhere by just standing around! "I've just moved you to the top of my 'to do' list."

"**S-A-I**…." Ino ran over and grabbed Sai by the collar. She actually lifted him off of the ground. Her face was quite the sight to see.

"If you wanted a turn," Sai said. "You merely needed to ask."

"I think your sweetheart is jealous," the woman told Sai. She smiled, liking to be the 'other woman.'

"Truly?" Sai cocked his head when Ino let him down. "I _did_ ask you first." He would never understand girls. But, that was neither hear nor there. He didn't want Ino to feel left out. "It doesn't matter. I have more. Would you like to try an Australian kiss? It is just like a French kiss, but down under." He didn't understand that one. Ino probably would.

The sound of the resultant slap could be heard clear across the room, despite the noise level coming from so many animated conversations. For a brief instant, Ino looked like a goddess of War. If she suddenly pulled a lightning bolt out of the blue, Naruto wouldn't have been surprised. Sai put his hand to his cheek. It was already swollen so much that he would speak with a lisp.

"**You**… **are**… **a**… **total**… **i-d-i-o-t**…." Ino stormed towards the exit, not caring if she was over reacting. She had changed her mind. Clueless was not cute! She would get over things soon enough, but was not going to apologize. There came a point when ignorance was no longer an excuse. Waving off the hat check girl, she made up her mind. She was going to confront Shikamaru and tell him exactly how she felt, Temari or no Temari. Unknowingly, Sai had ended up helping her in a big way.

"But…." Sai began following after Ino. "Does that mean we won't get to the kissing or touching part…." He watched as she yanked so hard on the door handle that she nearly split the door in two. "Wait… a man should not allow a woman to go anywhere alone at this hour…."

Naruto waited a moment before following suit. He held out his hand to Hinata. "I hope you still had fun, Hinata-chan."

"Yes," Hinata said. Her eyes glistened.

**xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx**

The street lights were all on.

Large numbers of moths were circling the lamps, forming large fluttering shadows on the street below.

Yawning after a busy shift, Sakura left the medical center, hearing her bed call her name. Looking off towards the center of town, she wondered how Naruto and the others were doing on their double date.

"I bet Sai behaving like a perfect gentleman," she said. "It's Naruto that I'm worried about." She smiled a lopsided smile. "Poor Hinata…" Movement caught her attention. Someone was headed her way.

It was Ino. She was walking at a rather fast pace, her large ponytail flopping this way and that. Her large hair bang covered one eye again, even though she had started the night by showing her whole face.

"How'd the date go?" Sakura asked, certain she already knew the answer. There must be some kind of story behind it all. She should be able to get it out of one of her teammates. "That good, huh…." The other girl stomped on past without answering. There was afire in her eyes that Sakura had never seen before.

"...**S-t-u-p-i-d**…**S-a-i**...**!" **Ino's voice carried back to Sakura. **"Stupid Shikamaru!" **It grew fainter the further she got away. _"Stupid Temari!" _She stepped around a corner and was gone from sight. "Stupid me…." Her voice petered out.

"I think this might have been just what she needed." Sakura waged that Ino would confront her laconic teammate first thing in the morning, if not sooner. What she wouldn't give to be a fly on the wall. She sighed. Much of the night she had been thinking about Naruto, waffling one way and then the other. She still wasn't certain what she needed. Starting on her way again, she caught sight of more people.

"Hey! Sakura-chan!" That was Naruto. His voice routinely carried further than anyone else that she knew. "Did you see Ino?" Hinata was walking with him. She had hold of his hand! Sai wasn't too far behind the pair of them.

"She just walked by a few seconds ago," Sakura replied. "She'll be alright. She should reach home soon." She tried not to stare at the clasped hands. Maybe she should have gone on that date with Naruto. "So… how was the date…." She tried to sound casual.

"It was great!" Naruto's face lit up. He looked over at Hinata and smiled.

"Ummm… yes…." Hinata looked down at her shoes before meeting Sakura's eyes. The look she gave the other girl left her slack-jawed. "Great…." It was a look of triumph.

"We can't stand around chatting too long, Sakura-chan!" Naruto began walking again, Hinata at his side. "Hinata has a curfew. I don't want the Hyuugas coming after me." The two of them waved and then focused their attention on each other.

"You should not be too concerned," Sai remarked. He might be clueless to a fault; but, that did not mean that he did not have keen powers of observation. "The statistics on teenage romance suggest that the average relationship does not last very long." He took note of his friend's blushing. "Also, it may merely be a casual thing." He saw her relax some after he said that. "Perhaps they will simply become lovers without commitment." He had read a great deal on long term romances, sexualized friendships, part-time affairs, and flings.

"What?" Sakura clenched her fists. Like with Lee, a little Sai went a long way.

"You may well have a chance at Naruto sometime in the future," Sai said. He stood thinking for a moment. He nodded his head. "It may serve you well to become as accomplished at interpersonal relationships as you can. I think it would be a good idea for you to go on a double date."

"What makes you…." Sakura was interrupted. She was tired. She was confused about her feelings. She didn't need this right now.

"I do not think Ino would go out with me again," Sai said sadly. He had liked Ino's company. She had been a pleasant companion. Too bad she turned out to be high strung. "I will need to find another girl." He looked at his teammate. "I will ask around. It shouldn't be difficult to find a boy who would wish to be your date." He snapped his fingers. The sound echoed slightly along the deserted avenue. "Lee…."

"**Oooo-ooo-oo-oh!" **Sakura acted without thinking. She swung with the type of blow that was usually reserved for Naruto at his worst. It was amazing just how much hang time she got with Sai.

"It seems there is still much to learn," Sai said, looking down at the sleepy village.

_END_


	3. Nothing is Impossible

The sound of metal on metal echoed through the wooded area.

_Clank_… _clank_… _clank_… _clank_….

Seeing that the noise came from the practice grounds, someone might have guessed hat someone was tossing kunai or shuriken at one of the large wooden posts. They'd be wrong.

"Ummm… is something bothering you… Naruto-kun…." Hinata walked up carrying a heavy picnic basket. She looked up at Naruto, who was sitting on top of the middle of three posts, banging one kunai against another, a worried look on his face.

"Oh… Hi… Hinata…." Naruto rubbed the back of his neck. That certainly wasn't the exuberant greeting that he usually gave the white-eyed girl.

Hinata shuffled her feet a bit, and then placed her burden down. Konoha wasn't built in a day. She might have gained a fair amount of confidence since the day that she and Naruto had joined Ino and Sai on that memorable double date; but, she still couldn't chase away her biggest fear. Might he be growing bored with her?

"It's…." _Thunnnnnk. _Naruto rammed one of the metal blades into the wood. "Well… it's about Sakura…." He hung his head. "We've been very close lately… and…."

"I…." Hinata rubbed her fingers together. "I see…." If things were going to turn bad now, she would be heartbroken. The last few weeks had been heaven for her. She and Naruto had done a lot of things together, and not just the things that he liked to do. She had almost worked up enough courage to tell her sister and father about him. "And you want…."

As it turned out, there was no reason for Hinata to be concerned. Naruto had come to treasure their time together as much as she did, if not more. With all the stressful things he had to deal with in his life… from Kyuubi, Akatsuki, and Sasuke… it was nice to be able to spend quiet moments with someone without thinking about who wanted to do what terrible things to whom.

"I want her to be happy," Naruto replied. "I would like her to be happy… the way that _we_ are happy…." Looking down at Hinata, he saw her let out a long breath and close her eyes for a moment. What was up with that? "But it's hard…. because… _you_ know…." He let out a grunt of frustration as he worked the kunai out of the wood.

Neither Hinata nor Naruto qualified as a rocket scientists, by any means. But, just because Hinata rarely spoke up, and Naruto had trouble keeping his mouth shut, didn't mean that they were stupid. While they might not know Newton's Third Law by name or verse… 'for every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction'… the two of them were well aware of that truth, from certain jutsus they had learned, and from observations of daily life.

"She's sad because I'm happy," Hinata said. She stayed up nights feeling guilty, every once and a while. Her greatest wish had come true, but at a cost for someone else. It was easy enough to guess how she would feel if the tables were turned. "Ummm… it doesn't help that she has to see you during training and missions…."

"Yeh…." Naruto jumped down. He looked at Hinata, and then the basket. He knew all too well how hard she must work to put together the meals that she did. How could he tell her that he wasn't hungry? "But… hey… you shouldn't feel bad because you reached your goal…." He sighed. "That's not _our_ Way of the Ninja." He realized that the usual 'My' had routinely become 'Our' some time in the past week or so.

"I know." Hinata nodded her head. She couldn't help but smile a shy smile, hearing that 'our' again. "I made sandwiches today," she noted. Correctly gauging Naruto's gastronomic condition, she added "They'll keep until later."

"I'm sorry I won't be very good company today." Naruto kicked at one of the posts. "But… if I changed my mind and went out with her instead of you… _you'd_ be sad." He gave the post and even harder kick. "If I didn't go out with either of you, both of us would be sad, and she would probably feel guilty." He winced. His third kick had bent his toes back. "I like the way things are. But… it… damn…." For a moment, he had the crazy urge to create a number of Bunshin, using his wind-based attack to take down all three posts.

"Ummm… maybe we should look at things differently… Naruto-kun…." Hinata said. "You taught me how people can change… and how lives can change…." She tapped one finger against her cheek. That had Naruto blushing for a moment, thinking for the zillionth time how cute she was. How had he missed that before? "What can we do for Sakura…."

"_Huh?" _Naruto's eyes went wide. His posture changed. "What did you say, Hinata-chan?" He looked more like the 'regular' Uzumaki Naruto now. He always did better when he had some kind of goal. Especially if it was a difficult one, with some kind of time limit or sense of urgency. "Do you have an idea?"

"Mmm hmm… I _think_…." Hinata's tongue stuck out between her lips just a bit, the way it did when she concentrated. That had Naruto smiling. It was true. She was too darn cute for her own good. He was lucky that no one else thought that way. "She's lonely. Her heart is aching. If she could find someone else, that would all go away."

"**Believe it!" **Naruto pumped his fist. The logic of that plan struck him like a bolt out of the blue. "You're a _genius_, Hinata-chan." He liked the way that her eyes lit up any time he complimented her. That made him feel good inside. "Now we just need to figure out who…." He tugged at one ear. "And how…."

"Lee," Hinata said quietly. That was the only real answer, if they were going to choose from their close-knit circle of friends. For one particular reason, she could relate to the boy in the green stretchy suit.

"**K-i-b-a-!" **Naruto clapped his hands together, the noise echoing through the trees like an explosive seal's retort. "He's your teammate. She's my teammate. He gets pretty loud. So does Sakura." He smiled. "He's got a dog as a friend, and Sakura has Ino…." In a strange twist of fate, Naruto and Ino had become even closer than before, after the night at the fancy restaurant. Now that the dust had settled, neither could help but crack up any time they repeated one of Sai's book-learned pick-up lines. But, as anyone should know, he teased the people that he liked twice as much as those he didn't.

Hinata didn't bother replying at first. She simply wrinkled up her nose. Naruto had a need to make himself laugh too, not just the people around him.

"Kiba is outgoing… talks big about girls… he'd know what to do…." He frowned. Maybe he knew _too _much. He clenched his fist, picturing him doing something inappropriate to Sakura. No. That was just a false impression. Kiba was a good guy.

"No," Hinata said, shaking her head. "He's got a girlfriend, now." At least one. She overheard him bragging to Shino from time to time. A chuunin boy can look like a big shot to genin girls.

"Shit!" Naruto smacked his fist into his palm. Then, he cringed. "Sorry!" Hinata didn't approve of coarse language. "Shino's out…. For… you know…. obvious reasons….." Hinata ought to know. She's a 

girl. She spent more time around Shino than anyone save Kiba. Shino was a good shinobi and a great friend after a fashion; but, _euwww-ww-w_….

"Ummm hmm." Hinata liked Shino. She trusted him. But, she knew exactly what Naruto meant. "It should be Lee."

"**N-e-j-i-!" **Naruto struck a Gai-like pose. "He's a genius. Sakura had the highest scores at the Academy. He used to feel like a Bird in a cage. Sakura keeps threatening to lock _me_ away in a cage." Neji might be a bit quiet… but hey, he couldn't help himself… he was a Hyuuga! He had started off as a stick up and arrogant asshole, but had really turned things around after their fight in the arena. "Heh… with that Kaiten… Sakura-chan would never be able to land one of her punches…."

"He's not ready." Hinata saw the irony in that truth. Here she was, sitting and talking with Naruto like this, as shy as she was. But Neji, always the go-getter of this generation of Hyuuga, was nowhere near dating. At least, not of his _own _accord. She had a suspicion hat someone would begin working on that fairly soon. "And… well… someone _else _has her eyes set on him…." The way she waved her hand said 'Even if it made Sakura happy, it would make someone else sad. We'd be back at square one.'

"Huh?" Naruto frowned. He didn't like to have his epiphanies snuffed out. "Who?" He made a face as he thought. "Ten Ten?"

"I can't tell you. I gave my word." Hinata looked stern. But, the way her eyes looked to the side for a moment, and then caught his again, told him all that he needed to know. "The best choice would be Lee."

"Sasuke would be the best choice," Naruto said with a thick throat. "If he ever comes back. I mean… if Orochimaru doesn't…." He didn't want to think about _that. _"If he doesn't turn out to be just like the person he hates." He frowned, picturing the cold apathetic eyes of Itachi. Sasuke's face hadn't looked all that difference, the time that he tried to kill his former teammates. He didn't want to think about that either. There was still time. And, no matter how slim, there was still hope. "And about Sai. I don't think he could take Sasuke's place in her heart." Not the way that he had successfully filled the opening in Team 7. "He's just not right…."

"Lee works very hard," Hinata stated. "The way that _I _do." She looked at the posts. Many a day, she had left bloody handprints on the wood. The only person who spent longer hours practicing there had been Rock Lee. With only Taijutsu to fall back on, he needed to be a goods as he could be, to remain a ninja. "He also has a big crush… the way that I did…." She put her hand over her heart, saying that. She had been mortified, when Sai blurted out her secret in front of the assembly. It had taken a lot of courage to go on that first date. But, everything had turned out better than she had reason to hope for.

"Shikamaru's out, for obvious reasons." Naruto had begun pacing back and forth. Every so often he spared a glance for the food basket. His brilliant friend had more than his fair share of troubles already, with two girls in his life. Seeing the way his mother treated his father, it might be years before he every considered dating for real, if ever! "Choji's not really fat… he's just big-boned these days…." He shook his head. Out of all of them, Choji might have the biggest heart of all, and not because he had the biggest body. But, he just could not picture him with Sakura. "Nope. Not him, either."

"Rock Lee," Hinata said, opening the wicker basket. Reaching inside, she took out a large checkered blanket and spread it on the ground. She began taking out sandwiches and condiments, placing them o the blanket. Drinks soon followed.

"It can't be Kakashi. That pairing would _never _do!" Naruto made a face. "No doubt there are some people who would actually suggest him. _Geeee-eee-ee-z. _It wouldn't hurt fror them to actually think!" He shook his head. "They might as well mention Itachi… Gai… Gaara…." He froze a moment. Even 

though he looked creepy, Gaara was a really great guy. No. That would never work. Same goes for Kankuro. "Hey… those sandwiches look really good."

Naruto sat down and held out his hand, an eager look on his face. His appetite had returned in a big way. Hinata took out the one she had stuffed the fullest and handed it to him. She had drawn a heart on the plastic wrap with an indelible marker. It seemed a little childish now, and was sitting on pins and needles, wondering if he would laugh at her. He didn't. He sat staring at the sign of affection for a few moments, his face growing softer. Immediately there after, he began talking louder and making jokes to cover up his feelings. Hinata wasn't fooled for a moment.

"Ummm… I think I'm right…." She opened a can of soda and passed it to Naruto. "We should speak to Lee." She knew that a great many people laughed at their friend, and thought any sort of Lee-Sakura pairing was ridiculous. But, even though everyone had expected Naruto to known how she felt about him, none of them would have held out any hope for them getting together. If they had money to bet, they would have placed their wagers on Sakura. It was the old 'boy crushes girl… girl hates and ignores boy… girl falls in love with boy after seeing how great he is' chestnut. The kind of thing that happened in movies and the anime that Naruto liked so much.

"I like Lee," Naruto said, speaking before he swallowed. He picked a piece of bread crust off of his jumpsuit. "I like him a _lot." _He shrugged. He knew how his teammate felt. He couldn't blame her. "He creeps Sakura out." he took a long pull of soda, trying hard not to belch when he was done. "Big time."

"I know that…." Hinata started.

"**Big bushy eyebrows!" **Naruto held his arms far apart in exaggeration.

"Yes… but…." The white-eyed girl couldn't get a word in.

"**Green stretchy suit!" **Naruto shivered. Gai had given him one, once. He had initially thought it cool, until Jiraiya belittled it. What had he been thinking? "I mean… come _on_…." He shook his head, a furrow in his brow. "Green… stretchy… suit…."

"Clothes aren't…." Hinata began rubbing her fingers together again. She was in love with Naruto. That didn't mean that she cared much for orange and black.

"**And that hair cut!" **Naruto smacked his head. "All he needs is a bowl and a pair of scissors! _Sheeee-eee-eesh."_

"Style… ummm… style does not make the man…." Hinata looked at Naruto's unruly hair.

"**Impossibly big eyes!" **Naruto used his fingers to pull his upper and lower eyelids away from his eyes, before unwrapping another sandwich. Damn, they were good! He gave Hinata a 'V' sign. "All that shouting and posing!" He almost lost his appetite again, saying the next words. "Too much like Gai!" He scowled, thinking back to the first day of the chuunin exams, where Lee had defeated him and caught Sasuke by surprise. "Those… ugggh… those freaky hearts…." He stuck a finger in his mouth, remembering the bushy browed boy's way of expressing his crush on Sakura.

"Those are only the things on the outside," Hinata said. If she had been one to judge someone by appearance, she never would have paid any attention to Naruto. "And… remember… the lesson you taught brother Neji…." She met his eyes. "People change. There's really no such thing as destiny. You never know what might happen."

"Huh?" Naruto pulled at his lower lip. Then, his eyes widened and his face lit up. "Genius!" He slapped his hands together, and then pointed at Hinata. "People _can _change." Hinata had meant Sakura. He assumed Lee. From a small acorn, a big tree began to grow. "We can help Lee change!"

"That…." Hinata's eyes went wide, too. "What I meant…." She knew all too well that she had worked hard to change. But, she had wanted to get better at certain things, not change everything she was. "We shouldn't…."

"**We make a great team, Hinata-chan!" **Naruto reached out and squeezed Hinata's hand, which had her turning pink in the face in record time. He liked seeing that, too. It was cute. And, it was okay to think a girl was cute. "Great lunch… really hit the spot…." He began cleaning up. "Let's go find Lee!"

"Ummm…." Hinata watched Naruto work. She didn't think it was a great idea. But, Naruto had a way of succeeding where everyone else failed. It was worth a try. "OK."

As it turned out, they were unable to find Lee that day, as Team 8 had headed out on a short mission. But, that gave Naruto time to think and scheme, and a chance to observe Sakura more closely, to make certain that he wasn't making a mountain out of a molehill. Uncharacteristically quiet, he enjoyed a reprieve of sorts, as poor clueless Sai became the victim of the pink-haired girl's unfathomable strength for a while.

"They're back," Hinata told Naruto in the week, when she returned from spending time with Kurenai. Her sensei still hadn't regained all of her spirit after Asuma's death. "Gai stopped by to talk with Kurenai. The jounin will be meeting later today."

"Ahhh…." Naruto rubbed his chin. "With the _Konoha no Kedakai Aoi Mōjū _out of the way…." Gai nicknamed himself 'Konoha's Prideful Green Beast. "…This would be a great time to approach Lee!" He put both hands behind his head and grinned, his eyes shut. "I'm ready if you are!"

"Sure." Hinata didn't plan to take a lead role in this scheme. But, she would stand by quietly, acting as Naruto's conscience if he got out of hand. He had a big heart; but, sometimes his mouth and mind ran too fast for it to keep pace. And, of course, she simply like to do things together with him.

In standard Lee fashion, the bushy-browed boy had headed over to the practice field, even though he had just returned from a mission. When they found him, he had already worked up a sweat, kicking the same post that Naruto had been sitting on the other day. Some things never change.

"**Oi! Lee!" **Naruto called out to his busy friend. "Why don't you take a break for a moment. I'm getting tired, just watching you!"

"Naruto." Lee stopped, and stepped away from the post. He looked over at Hinata. "Hinata." He smiled. Then, he sighed, thinking of Sakura. "It is good to see you both." He struck a pose, fighting against his unfulfilled yearnings. "It is nice to see the two of you together."

"About that," Naruto said, glad that Lee had handed him the perfect segue. "It's really great when two people get together, _right?" _He didn't miss the look in Lee's eyes. His friend valiantly smiled, despite whatever sense of longing tugged at his heartstrings. "Ino won't give up on Shikamaru. Ten Ten is about to start working on Neji. Kiba has his girl of the month." He shrugged. "Shino found a whole new species of bugs…." He ignored the look that Hinata gave him. It was just a joke! "Sai never met a book he didn't get a hard-on for…."

"Yes," Lee answered. "It is wonderful, when the burning flame of youth finds its match!" Light shone from his teeth. That had Naruto wincing and putting a hand on his forehead. "For some… the stalwart torch of destiny burns bright early…." He sighed. "Some people just need to be patient."

"I know," Naruto said. "Look at Gai!" He jumped. Hinata had kicked lightly at his ankle. The girl was becoming more and more forward by the week. Good for her!

"**Gai-sensei is the paramount man!" **Lee's eyes flashed. "He graduated the Academy at age seven, and has shown everyone that hard work without believing in yourself is worthless. He is more than any enemy can handle, even though he rarely uses ninjutsu.

It is not his fault that there is no dark and passive Yin to match his bright and active Yang!" He posed again, a fierce look on his face. "Everyone knows that…."

"Whoa! Hey! Wait!" Naruto waved his arms. "I was just joking. Good things are worth waiting for, right?" He had to fight to keep from snickering. Maybe he had listened to one too many tail from Kakashi. "That's why Hinata and I are here…."

"You have found a woman for Gai-sensei?" Lee looked flabbergasted. "Surely not…." he looked at Hinata. It wasn't the first time a certain name came to mind. "…Yuhi Kurenai?" She was kind of dark in her own way. However, she was anything but passive, and was still grieving over the loss of her last love.

"No!" Hinata shook her head emphatically. "Naruto meant _you_…."

"Me?" Lee looked perplexed. Then, his eyes narrowed, his brow furrowed, and his face clouded over. "Why do people always jump to that conclusion!" He became angrier than either of his two friends remembered seeing. "We are _not_ shudo." He held his finger out much the way that Gamakichi often did when he saw Hinata and Naruto together. He was referring to a tradition that had once been passed down along samurai, not shinobi. Love bonds between a seasoned and a novice samurai were once held to be the flower of the samurai spirit. "I would think my friends would know that!"

"I don't know who would win a battle of the clueless," Naruto said, hanging his head. "You… or Sai… _owww-ww-w_…." Hinata had kicked him harder that time. She would throw a third name into the hat. "OK… OK…." He glared at Hinata, grinning when she didn't back down. She really was someone he could like. Talk about your Yin and Yang! "We're here to help you reach your dream."

"Do…." Lee went stiff. "Do you mean…." His eyes had a faraway look, before they glazed over. "Do you mean Sakura-chan…." He didn't notice a thing when Naruto waved his hand up and down before his eyes. "Sakura-_chaaaa-aaa-aa-an_…."

"Geee-ee-ez…." Naruto shook his head again. This might take more work that he once thought. He grinned, a wicked look coming to his eyes. "Lee… look… over there…." He pointed. "Sakura-chan!"

"_**Ohhhh-hhh-hh-h**_…." Lee suddenly snapped to. He turned too fast, not thinking about where he stood. He came close to knocking himself unconscious when he banged his head against the nearest post.

"Naruto-kun." Hinata shook her head, lips tight together. "We're here to help Lee… _aren't _we…."

It took some time, but the two ninjas were able to calm Lee down. It was amazing what the mention of a certain girl's name could do. It was almost as if he, with his tendency towards the Drunken Fist, had been given alcohol by mistake. But, amazingly enough, he went from hyperactive, to calm, to catatonic in the wink of an eye. Despite everything that he had accomplished in his life, he lacked confidence when it came to this one subject.

"What would Gai-sensei think… if he saw you quit like this…." Naruto knew just what buttons to push. But, he couldn't over-use his trump card, since the whole crux of his plan would have his friend changing more and more from his mentor. "It looks like the burning fire was nothing more than a 

candle on a birthday cake…." He shook his head, looking disgusted. "What happened to all that 'youth', 'power' and 'explosion' stuff?"

"You can do it," Hinata said, with a smile.

"What do you suggest?" Lee asked. He looked at Naruto. He looked at Hinata. They had succeeded where he had failed. Maybe they were on to something.

"**Let's go!" **Naruto motioned for Lee to follow him. "We've got a lot of work ahead of us, before we go see Sakura." He rubbed his hands together. He doubted that anyone else could pull this off.

The three of them made their way back to the heart of the village. Naruto sent Lee home with instructions to bathe and put on fresh clothes, before meeting him and Hinata at the business district. Being nostalgic, the village's most unpredictable ninja chose a spot outside of the restaurant that Ino had chosen on that fateful night. Lee gave his solemn promise that he return. Hinata put her basket at home and hurried back.

"Naruto." Having seen his teammate, Sai walked over to where waited, after Hinata had already come back. "Are you and Hinata on another date? Are things progressing properly?" He cocked his head. If he couldn't learn everything that was necessary from books, he could benefit from Naruto's experiences. "Hinata? Has he made it to third base yet?" One of the pamphlets he happened upon told men how to get whiter teeth and bigger muscles. It also described relationships in terms he had hitherto been ignorant of.

"…" Hinata opened and closed her mouth like a fish. She had tried to say 'No,' but couldn't get her tongue to work.

"**Sai!" **Naruto poked his friend hard with his finger. "You shouldn't ask questions like that!"

"Why?" Sai had that flat look on his face again. "I read that sexual activity in humans is an instinctive form of physical intimacy, one that can be performed for the purposes of biological reproduction, spiritual transcendence, the expression of affection, and for pleasure and enjoyment." He wondered why Hinata was swaying back and forth like a young sapling in a stiff gale wind. "Correct me if I am wrong. Isn't the desire to have sex is one of the basic drives of human behavior?"

"But… that's… we…." Naruto kept looking from side to side, hoping that no one was listening. It took all of his control not to throttle his teammate right then and there. "That's not the kind of thing…."

"Kiba has remarked that you have tremendous reserves of chakra and stamina." Sai raised one eyebrow. "He said that Hinata would be ecstatic." He turned to look at Hinata. She had fallen hard to her rump. "Was he wrong?"

"We… ummm… we never…." Hinata shook her head vehemently.

"**Of course he was!" **Naruto began to understand why his own clueless behavior sent Sakura off the deep end at times. "We haven't done anything like that yet. And, if we _had_, it wouldn't be any of your business!"

"Really?" Sai looked confused again. "Choji was certain that you would brag all over town, when you got lucky. Shino disagreed, saying he would rush to tell his closest friends, but no one else." He rubbed his chin. "I had assumed that we were close friends…."

"We _are_ friends," Naruto asserted. "But…. if you embarrass Hinata like this any more… we may not be for much longer….." He clenched his fists. "You should know better than to listen to anything that Kiba says!"

"I see. I will take you at your word, then." Sai offered Hinata a hand and helped her get back to her feet. Naruto instinctively moved to help brush the dirt off of her pants, but stopped. He didn't dare do that with Sai watching. Not after everything he had just said. "Neither you nor Hinata have knocked boots… done the no pants dance… created the beast with one back… played hide the pickle… gotten into each other's shorts… or taken the beef bus to tuna town." He had learned a lot of terms, but still couldn't figure out the last one. "Maybe you could explain…."

"**NO!" **Naruto hadn't meant to shout; but, Sai had touched a very sensitive nerve. Hinata was very proper, and he was rather inexperienced, despite hanging around with Ero-Sennin. That didn't meant his dreams hadn't been rather explicit, however. "I you have any questions, ask Shizune or Old Lady Tsunade. They give that kind of lecture all the time." He caught sight of someone walking towards the Administrative building. It was Mitarashi Anko. He pointed. "If you need to know now… go ask _her_…."

"I…." Sai blinked rapidly. He was by no means _that _clueless. Few things made him feel truly uncomfortable, thanks to the training he received in Root. Anko was one of those things. "Never mind…." He changed the subject much to his friends' relief. "Why are the two of you here, then?"

"_**Ahhhh-hhh-hh-h**_…." Lee came running up. "Sorry that I kept you waiting!" he looked short of breath. He must have run pretty hard. "Hello, Sai."

"Lee," Sai said, politely inclining his head. "Is this going to be another double date?" He had spoken to Kaksashi after the fiasco at the bar. He still wasn't entirely certain about his mistakes, since the Copy Ninja hadn't been in a mood for that kind of training.

"No," Naruto answered. "At least… not _yet_…." He rubbed his nose. Should he ask Sai to leave now? Would that be rude? He didn't want his friend to bollix things up. "We're getting Lee ready." Saying that was like waving a red flag in front of a bull.

"Really?" Sai perked up even more than usual. "May I come along?" There might be a lot to learn!

"Sure," Lee said, answering for everyone. "Your advice might prove useful, too." He didn't see Naruto hang his head, or Hinata pat the orange-clad boy's arm.

"Alright," Naruto said curtly. "Fine. Great. Peachy keen." He sighed. "First, we need to examine the things that might act as a big turn off." Naruto didn't intend to be mean or anything. But, he was well aware about the adage of omelets and eggs. "These won't be just my opinions, or Hinata's opinions." He looked Lee in the eyes. "Are you strong enough to hear this?"

"Yes." Lee struck one of his poses.

"There. We can start with that. All your dramatic posing!" Naruto folded his arms over his chest. He liked to pose every once in a while. In moderation. With Lee, the four certainties of any day included eating, sleeping, taking a dump, and posing. "If you do it that often, it's not dramatic anymore." He looked over at Hinata who agreed. "And… if you do it that flamboyantly…." Naruto acted facetiously, posing in a way that should make even Lee or Gai chuckle. He grimaced when Lee gave him a thumbs up. "It's not cool. It's dorky. Some people even think it's gay!"

"But…." Lee looked stricken. "Gai-sensei looks amazing when he does it." He looked over at Sai who shook his head. "He says that I look good that way, too."

"Never mind what Gai says," Naruto said firmly. "Every time you pose today, I'm going to have a shadow clone kick you in the ass." He apologized to Hinata. "Rear end. It will be hard. It will hurt!" He would keep his word. It was their Way of the Ninja. "Keep this in mind. Sakura hates posing. She would never be interested in anyone who did that." That ought to do it.

"I will do this for Sakura," Lee said. Naturally, he posed. He hardly noticed when the Bunshin kicked him twixt wind and water. "Sakura-_chaaa-aa-an_…."

"He does that a lot," Sai noticed. "Is that normal? Could it be some kind of organic brain injury?"

"No," Naruto replied. "And maybe." He reached out with two fingers and pinched Lee's nose, bringing him back to reality. "You will get a Sakura-style punch in the gut every time you sigh and zone out. She wouldn't put up with that, either. So we won't. If you are an honorable man, you will do your best!"

"_**Ohhhh-hhh-hh-h**_…." Lee came very close to posing again. The Bunshin had wound of for the kick, but had to step back before disappearing in a puff of smoke. "I understand. You are a harsh teacher, just like Gai-sensei. I am lucky to have a friend like you."

"That's another thing!" Naruto struck a pose. He caught the foot of the Bunshin that tried to kick him, and then punched it in the nuts, causing it to pop out of existence, a grimace on its face. "Not _me, _you idiots." He put his hands on his hips and glowering at the remaining shadow clones. He posed again and shouted "_**Uhhhh-hhh-hh-h**_…." Glancing at Hinata, he asked "Did that make me look cool?"

Hinata put her hand over her mouth and giggled. She shook her head.

"If it had been cool, would it turn you on?" Sai asked. "Some women get excited when their partners act like wild animals."

"Remember!" Naruto held up three fingers, ignoring Sai. "No posing." He folded one finger down. "No 'Sakura-_chaaaa-aaa-aa-an'_." He folded down another. "No weird shouting." He folded down the final one. "Repeat that after me." He nodded when Lee did as he was instructed. "And… before I forget it… none of those kissy-heart things! Those just freak everyone out…." He stuck out his tongue.

"Right." Hinata wrapped her arms around herself. Naruto had described those heart things to her before. She shivered.

"I fail to see what is wrong with hearts," Sai said, looking curious again. "The heart has long been used as a symbol to refer to the spiritual and emotional core of human beings. As the heart was once widely believed to be the seat of the human mind, the word 'heart' continues to be used poetically to refer to the soul. Stylized depictions of hearts are extremely prevalent symbols representing love."

"If Anko brought you a pair of silk boxers with hearts on them, would you put them on for her?" Naruto smiled when he saw his garrulous friend twitch. He didn't blame him one bit. When Sai shook his head, eyes looking a little wild, Naruto said "Think about it!" He looked over at Hinata. For a moment, he wondered what Hinata might be like if she had Anko as a sensei instead of Kurenai. He pictured the white-eyed girl dressed in black leather and netting. Licking a kunai. Kinky!

"Naruto-kun?" Hinata wondered why Naruto had that look on his face. He looked like he was in some kind of trance.

"Ohhh… sorry… I was just strategizing…." His face grew warm and he looked away from Hinata. Sometimes it wasn't so great having an active imagination. "I think I know just what to do for Lee…."

"Purchase him one of these?" Sai reached inside his pouch and took out an _Icha Icha _book.

"_**Ahhhh-hh**_…." Lee managed to stop mid-shout. It was a start. "Gai-sensei say that kind of book is a crutch for men who lack the fire and explosiveness to impress women on their own."

"He would," Naruto said. "Sai, that is _not_ a good book for someone who doesn't know something about women to start with."

"Then… maybe… one of the earlier volumes?" Sai took out more _Icha Icha _books.

"Sai, are you trying to make things more difficult on purpose?" Naruto glared at his friend, his voice showing his frustration. He wasn't into S & M. He knew that Sai wasn't either. Jiraiya had tried to cater to all audiences, and had written chapters on that subject. It might be nice if he had some kind of muzzle for his inquisitive teammate! "Any way… we are going to make Lee over…." He folded his arms across his chest and looked rather resolute. "That might give him a chance to approach Sakura before she runs off screaming. After that, it will be up to Lee to see if there is anything about him that she might like."

"I'm certain she'll find something," Hinata said sweetly.

"If she looks real hard." Sai grinned until Naruto's kick folded him up like a cot. Having been brutalized repeatedly by Sakura, he had learned a thing or three.

"Well, I think we will start off by killing two birds with one stone." Naruto began marching in purposeful fashion, leading his ragtag little group towards a shop with a spinning pole outside, one marked with winding red and blue stripes. It was the Konoha Barber Shop. "We'll take care of the hair and the eyebrows."

"_What!" _Lee looked taken aback. Naruto wasn't joking, _was_ he? This wasn't some practical joke set up by Kiba and the other boys, _was_ it? "My…." He put his hand on his hair. He had adopted this style after Gai, when the older shinobi had taken him under his wing and helped him see the value of hard work. "And…." He touched one of his eyebrows. "I do not know if I should…."

"It will be alright," Naruto said, putting an arm around Lee's shoulders and leading him in through the door. "If you don't like it, it won't be permanent, right? Hair grows back."

"Yes… I suppose…." Lee stared at Naruto for a moment. He truly respected and admired his friend. Back when he had wanted to beat Neji at fighting, Naruto had been the one to accomplish that feat.

"You should trust your friends," Sai put in, trying to be emotive and supportive. "No one will laugh at you if you come out looking funny." That had Lee taking a step back towards the exit.

"Sai." Hinata shook her head.

"Should I have said 'funnier'?" Sai raised one eyebrow. "Naruto has told me that I do not need to be totally accurate with what I say, if such accuracy would prove harmful to someone else."

"Don't pay attention to Sai," Naruto told Lee, motioning with his finger across his neck like a knife, trying to tell his teammate to be quiet. He steered his edgy-looking friend over to a counter with a cash register and a stack of magazines. Looking around the room, he saw a number of barbers that he knew, older men with a grizzled look about them. Good. They were the no nonsense type, and truly knew their craft. One of them called gruffly to a room just off the main one.

"I'm coming… I'm coming…." That sounded like a woman's voice. It wasn't. "Ohhh… why don't you keep your shorts on…." An effeminate haircutter walked out, wearing a rather garish outfit, practically dripping with jewelry. He looked like he belonged in one of the women's hair salons over by the Great Gate. "Let's see just what we have here…" He trounced over to the counter, walking with a bit of a swivel.

"We…." Naruto couldn't get a word out before the man started running his fingers through his hair.

"Yes. I can see why you need my expertise," the man said, reeking of cologne. "A scraggly little ragamuffin, with a horrid mop of hair.' He made a 'tsk tsk' noise, but struck a pose much like one of Lee's. That gave the bushy-browed boy another reason to forget about dramatic posture. "But… with you… I can work miracles!"

Hinata couldn't help herself. She started giggling.

"Would I be correct in guessing, regarding your sexual orientation, if I was to say… _ooo-oo-oph_…." Sai winced when Naruto stomped hard on his toes.

"I'm not the one here for a haircut," Naruto said, knocking away the man's hands. The guy creeped him out more than Orochimaru did. _"He _is." He pushed Lee forward.

"**Oh my great gods!"** The haircutter brought a hand to his mouth, looking as if he had seen a ghost. **"Fashion disaster!"** He took a dramatic step back, looking like he was in danger of fainting. No one could tell if he was acting, or truly shaken. "That dreadful hair style. And those eyebrows… it looked like two small furry animals crawled on your face just to have a fight…." He shook his head and put one hand on his hip. "I'm going to have nightmares. I'm sure of it!"

"M-… M-… Maybe we should try another shop." Lee's eyes were even wider than usual. He was a very thoughtful boy. His honor meant a great deal to him. In the past, he always showed respect to his opponents, never trying to demean them, no matter who they might be. He was finding it hard to be stick to his code at the moment.

"No one else will do eyebrows," one elderly barber claimed. The expression on his face clearly said 'especially ones like those'. "Unless you want to visit one of the fancy schmansy women's places down town." She hocked loudly and spat into a dingy old spittoon, prompting the effeminate hair stylist to put a hand to his forehead in dramatic fashion, and then grab a can of air fresher.

"Come over and sit down," the haircutter said, bringing Lee over to a chair done up in rhinestones and glitter. "There is nothing beyond my talent, no mater how dreadful it might be at the start!" That had Hinata glancing at Naruto's hair, until he caught her looking. She then paid strict attentions to the toes wigging at the front of her sandals.

"So… what shall it be…." The man draped a large gown over Lee's outfit, as much to cover up the green stretchy suit as to keep him clean from snipped hair. "Bold… sensitive… masculine… demonstrative…." He bent down to speak directly into Lee's ear. "Sensual…."

"I think maybe…." Lee tried to get out of the chair. Naruto and Hinata moved to hold him down, as Sai watched with one of those silly grins of his.

"Normal," Naruto said before things got out of hand. "Just make him look normal. As best you can."

"I can do that… as boring as it sounds…." The stylist shrugged. "I'm a maestro, and this will be a great symphony, even if there are few notes for me to play!" He began tilting his head this way and that, holding his hands up like a photographer framing a shot. "I should make you all pay to watch me perform…." He began snipping away, each movement making him more flamboyant than the one before. Lee had begun to sweat.

As strange as the man might be, he was an extraordinary haircutter. When he was finished, Lee looked drastically different, with normal sized eyebrows and a layered cut. Reaching for his frog purse, Naruto did the honors, deciding to leave a sizeable tip. Freak or not, the guy had done the impossible.

"Who wishes to be next," the stylist asked, pursing his lips. "The walking haystack?" That was directed to Naruto. It had Hinata turning red in the face as she tried not to laugh. "Or you… beautiful boy…." He nibbled on one of his long manicured fingernails, looking over at Sai.

"I think the correct answer to that inquiry is…." A rather shocked looking Sai was reaching for his scroll and ink. Naruto grabbed him by the collar and dragged him out of the barber shop before he could cause a scene.

Lee took a moment to walk over to a large shop front window, using it as a mirror. He turned his hair this way and that, trying to get a better look than he had in a hand mirror. He certainly looked different. He couldn't help but smile.

"OK. Our first mission was a success!" Naruto was strutting now, obviously impressed with himself. "On to our next stop." He pointed at a small shop across the way. "Over there." It was the Hidden Leaf Opticians boutique.

"But…. I do not understand…." Lee ran a hand through his hair, startled to realize how much had been cut off. "I do not need eyeglasses. My vision is fine."

"This is not about you looking at things," Naruto explained, smiling when Hinata hurried to catch up and take his arm. "It's about people looking at _you." _When Lee asked what he meant, he said "Your eyes. They are rather dramatic. It steals attention from your other features." He scowled, feeling strange, talking about another guy's features, especially after their visit with the hair stylist.

"Yes," Sai put in, remembering something he had heard. "I believe it was Kiba who commented on your appearance." He didn't see Hinata shaking her head emphatically. "He said that even an owl would be embarrassed, if it had eyes like that."

"Let's try to keep things positive, okay?" Naruto shook a fist at Sai. His eyes narrowed and he grinned a nasty grin. "Beautiful boy…." That had Sai looking somewhat angry. They all stopped and stared. None of them could remember seeing that kind of expression before. There was no doubt. Slowly but surely, Sai was making progress. He was learning that emotions were a double-edged sword.

Their time in the optical shop went off without a hitch. Lee tried on numerous frames, and picked out a color of non-prescription glass. Naruto sat with Hinata, the girl resting her head on his shoulder. Sai remained silent.

"**Looking good!"** Naruto gave Lee a 'V' sign, after they left the shop. **"Believe it!"** He was riding the crest of a wave now, flushed with pride. "I'm sure that Sakura will be impressed." He smiled. "Hard work pays off!"

"Sakura-_chaaa-aa_…." Lee shut his mouth, pressing his lips together. The shadow clones had started balling up their fists. "I hope so," he said instead. He really wanted to impress her. He never had be able to follow through on any of his attempts. Even his rescue attempt in the Forest of Death had fallen short, when he happened upon a desperate Sakura, while she was hopelessly trying to fend off the three Sound-nin who were attacking her and her two unconscious teammates. He had even used the Front Lotus against Dosu Kinuta, but failed because he was outnumbered, and because he had no experience against sound-based attacks.

"One last thing," Naruto said. "Maybe even the most important!"

"His breath?" Sai asked. "Successful men realize that taking care of themselves can make a big difference in the way they look and feel." He was speaking with that 'authority' tone of voice again. "It is not enough to brush twice a day. Consider following up with a good flossing. Aside from improving 

dental hygiene, flossing goes a long way towards fighting bad breath caused by the build-up of bacteria between teeth."

"He sounds like a freaking toothpaste commercial." Naruto clenched both fists and felt his teeth grind together. That wouldn't prove helpful for his dental well being. "Why don't you tell us about underarm deodorant, too?" He was being facetious.

"I considered that," Sai replied. "I did not wish to hurt anyone's feelings." He didn't sound as if he were joking.

"Huh?" Naruto sniffed under each of his arms, before he realized what he was doing. He smelled fine. Fresh as a spring morning! He blushed when he caught Hinata grinning again. "Hey. Never mind. Where was I?" He frowned. "Ohhh yeh. Follow me. I should get a medal after this next one." He led them all to a clothier.

"Why are we stopping here?" Lee looked perplexed. Shifting his eyesight down to his chuunin vest, he didn't see anything out of the ordinary. Besides, that was standard gear, and this was not a place that catered to a ninja's professional needs. When he looked at the exposed sleeves of his body suit, his eyes widened behind the tinted glasses. "You can't mean…."

"Yup!" Naruto nodded. "The green strectchy suit." He grinned. "The number one greatest threat to civilization as we know it." He saw Hinata and Sai both nod their heads too, unprompted. "That kind of thing makes Akatsuki look like a bunch of pansies! If Yondaime had worn one, he'd be alive today, and the stupid fox would _still_ be running!"

"But…." Lee felt himself pulled along by the arm again. He hard a bell ring as Naruto slammed the door open in excited fashion. He slipped free from his grasp and stood apart from his friends. He had been willing to make sacrifices. But, his suit? That great green mantle of manliness? Certainly Naruto must be joking!

"Well… what can I do for you all…." A stately middle-aged woman walked up, her outfit a testimony to the things that could be done with good taste and a large expense account. "Let's see… who looks like they need my help…." She came to an immediate halt, her eyes blinking rapidly, and her hand covering her mouth. For a moment, she felt nauseous. **"Good gracious!"** She was staring at Naruto's orange and black outfit.

"Ummm…." Hinata helped steady the woman, and kindly showed her to a nearby chair. "Will you be alright, Ma'am?" That wasn't the first person that she had seen react that way.

"I don't know." The woman gratefully accepted a glass of water that an aide brought over. "That gave me quite a jolt." She rubbed her eyes. "It was almost like staring at the sun for too long."

"It's not _that_ bad!" Naruto sounded a bit huffy. His scowl deepened when he saw both Hinata and the shop owner look at each other and nod their heads. "Besides… we're not here for me… we're here for _him_…." He pulled Lee into view. He had taken off his vest.

"**Ma'am!" **Hinata held the woman up. She had almost toppled out of her chair. The shop owner was leaning to one side, her eyes tightly shut. "Naruto-kun… ummm… could you and Lee stand behind one of the clothes racks…." She didn't know if it was the green stretchy suit that had done it, or that combined with Naruto's apparel.

"Please," the woman said, sounding shaken. "Take off that suit… and step into one of the dressing rooms…." She took a deep breath. "When I'm able… I'll come in and take your measurements. Start thinking about the styles you might like to try." Putting her fingers to her wrist, she checked her pulse. "At least you are quite a nice sight to see, young lady." She said that Hinata when she opened 

her eyes again. "You're not too bad, either." That was directed to Sai. "I suggest you try men's clothing next time, however."

That had Naruto snickering and saying 'Beautiful boy' again. Sai looked own at his outfit, wondering what he could possibly have done wrong.

As Lee stood shivering in the dressing alcove, after removing everything but his BVDs, he called out to Naruto. He heard the sound of clacking scissors coming from a small room behind him, unaware of the fact that the shaken woman had been bravely cutting up the green suit so that it could never again harm a single soul again. "I… I am not really sure…." He stood taller and decided to come out with it. "I am not really sure I want to get different clothes."

"Why not," Naruto asked. "You came so far, already. I thought you had your heart set on Sakura."

"I do…." Lee sighed. The chill air was giving him goose bumps on top of his goose bumps. "But… you see…." He thought back to his early days, when the other boys used to make fun of him. He remembered when Neji said he could never be a ninja, because he couldn't do ninjutsu or genjutsu. One person had stood by him all of those times. "I would not want to dishonor Gai-sensei."

"I thought so," Naruto said. "Listen up, Lee." He was hardly an expert on human nature, even though his own childhood had shown him the bad side of people, along with the good. "Imitation might really be a sincere form of flattery. But, too much of anything is bad!"

"Even ramen," Sai asked. That had Naruto frowning again. "Or kissing?" He looked over at Hinata. She stumbled, coming close to knocking a series of manikins over like dominoes.

"Like asking too many questions!" Naruto fought to keep his temper. "OK. Let's get one thing out of the way, first." He sounded very serious. "You don't dress up like Gai, hoping to win his affection, right? You said you weren't that shudo thing…."

"**No!" **Lee responded immediately.

"So, do you think that the only reason he respects you so much is because you dress like him?" Naruto scratched under one arm. "And, is your dressing like him the only things he has to look forward to in life?"

"No," Lee answered more sedately.

"Is it the only way you can show how thankful you are?" Naruto looked pleased with himself. Shikamaru wasn't the only one who could reason things out. "What do you want to speak for you, your haircut… your clothing… or how hard you try and the way you stand up for what is right…."

"Every bird has to leave the nest some time," Hinata added quietly. "When they're ready to fly."

"_**Ohhh-h**_…." Lee stopped, and then started again. "I mean… yes… that all makes sense." He turned, when the shop owner pushed through the swinging door at the rear of the dressing area. She had a measuring tape wrapped around her neck, and carried a small slate and piece of chalk.

"You look much better out of that… suit…." The woman looked Lee up and down. She smiled an almost predatory smile. "Those rakish eyebrows… that stylish haircut… your wonderful body tone…." She took hold of the tape and began taking measurements as she ran her hands over Lee's chest and arms more than she needed to. "And those glasses… they add a touch of mystery and sophistication…." She had him jumping when she pinched his buttock. Finally, finished with her task, she had the data she needed to suggest certain lines of clothing.

Naruto walked around the shop, gathering things from the various designers that the woman called out. There was so much to choose from. He wasn't sure what would work best, so he grabbed hold of the things that caught his eye. "Here…." He handed the first outfit over the front swinging door. "These too…."

"I am coming out," Lee announced, wearing the first get-up. Stepping out where everyone could see him, he froze, catching sight of himself in a full length mirror. That would never do! The baggy pants. The funky shirt. He looked like something out of a hip hop nightmare."

"Hey… not too shabby…." That was Naruto.

"No," Hinata said tersely, shaking her head. "Ohhh… Naruto-kun…." She sighed.

"OK. Here is the next one. I hope this one works better." Lee stepped out again, after trying the next set of clothes. Once again, the mirror did not lie. He went stiff.

"Not too bad," Naruto opined. "Sakura might like something like that." Lee was wearing pressed pants and a very colorful shirt. He had the arms of a sweater tied around his neck. Preppy overkill!

"Definitely not." Hinata made a face. She rarely sounded that forceful. "Next."

"You could get him clothes like mine," Sai offered, trying to be helpful.

"**NO!"** Lee, Naruto, Hinata, and the shop owner all spoke up at once. That had Sai tugging at his own clothing again.

"I hope that the third time will be the charm," Lee said, after discarding the last set of clothes. He walked out with a sense of growing trepidation, afraid that he would never find something that suited him. He almost expected the mirror to shatter after he looked at his reflection.

"Hey! That's pretty cool! I wonder how it would look on me." Naruto rubbed his hands together.

"No no no no no." Hinata rubbed at her temples. "That's just not right." Lee had on torn black jeans, a dark shirt emblazoned with a skull, and a necklace made from razor blades. A studded belt and wrist bands finished off the ensemble. "I'll be back in a few minutes." She disappeared between rows of clothing. When she came back, Lee was wearing bell bottoms and a tie-dye shirt. She had to close her eyes for a moment before reopening them, making certain that she wasn't dreaming. "Try these." She passed the clothes over the door.

"Now _that's_ more like it!" The shop owner's voice preceded Lee. When he stepped out for his friends to see, he stopped and stood captivated by his image in the mirror. Was that really him? He actually looked handsome! Well, relatively speaking.

"**Way to go, Hinata!" **Naruto smiled. Lee was wearing a very simple but effective outfit, one that had a touch of fashion about it, but was also practical for training and fighting. Dark shirt. Light pants. Complimentary and functional. "Who _is_ that stud?" He gave Lee a thumbs up, trying to boost his confidence.

"You are excited?" Sai looked at Naruto. "Could it be your relationship with Hinata is just for show?" He smiled that closed-eye smile. "You like boys?" No one could tell if he was serious or joking. It didn't matter. After shouting a denial, Naruto created a long line of Bunshin. They passed Sai from one to the next, before flinging him out in the street. He came a few inches short of being run over by a refuse wagon.

This time, it was Hinata who stepped to the fore, showing her generosity. Taking out her Hyuuga credit card, she bought Lee the clothes she had picked out for him. A hopeful look in her eyes, she offered to buy Naruto something very similar, in whatever colors might suit him. He shook his head, folded his arms across his face, and made a face. When a bedraggled looking Sai rejoined them, the four ninjas headed on their way. That took care of the 'easy' part. Now all they had to do was find Sakura and convince her to give Lee a chance.

"So… how do you feel…." Naruto looked over at his friend, finding it hard to believe that was Rock Lee, even though he had been there for each step of the transformation. "Do you have the urge to run home and put on a spare stretchy suit?"

"No… at least not yet…." Lee looked all around him, as they passed along the street. Everyone seemed to be looking at him. When a number of genin girls he had worked with in the past stared at him as if they didn't know who he was, he took off the glasses to give them a clue. They both looked at one another and began to squeal when he put the glasses back on.

"How about the barber shop," Naruto asked. "Should we stop there… get some of the hair they cut off… and glue it on your forehead?"

"No… that will not be necessary…." Lee grinned a shy grin. People who recognized him stood staring, as if they couldn't believe their eyes. When they all happened upon Neji and Ten Ten, they both dropped the food they were holding. They were too stunned to walk over and chat with their teammate.

"_**Ohhhhh-hhhh-hhh-hh-h**_…." Naruto shouted and struck a pose. That had a lot of people looking at him and shaking their heads. "You can get it out of your system, if you like. Before we get to the Medical Center." Naruto found just the right angle so that light would reflect off of his teeth with a 'ping'.

"No… I am fine…." Lee said, smiling. His smile faded when Naruto's loud call caught the attention of his mentor. Gai walked over to see what was going on. He had treated Neji and Ten Ten to lunch, when he couldn't find his favorite student. "G-… G-… Gai-sensei?"

"Huh?" Maito Gai did a double take. For a moment, he took up a defensive stance, wondering if some stranger had used Lee's voice. He relaxed some, seeing Naruto, Hinata, and Sai. "Lee? Is that you? _Leeee-eee-ee-e_…."

"Yes, Gai-sensei. It's me." Lee swallowed hard. This was extremely awkward. He hoped that he hadn't broken his teacher's heart. "I have… that is to say…."

"Your hair…." Gai stared at Lee, and then brought a hand up to his own hair. "Your face…." He wriggled his eyebrows. "Those…." He had to clear his throat. "Those clothes…."

"It is… it is all true… Gai-sensei…." Lee began to get misty-eyed. This was not going well. "You see… I wanted… Naruto and Hinata thought…."

"Ohhh Lee!" Gai's eyes watered up to. "Have I done something wrong? Did I fail you? My prize pupil!" His lower lip trembled. "Is _that _why you did this?"

"No, Gai-sensei! You are the best. You have _always_ been the best!" Lee rushed to reassure his closest companion. "No one could _ever_ be better than you. It's Sakura. I've finally made up my mind to take a chance." He started to pose, but stopped. "I want to make you proud!"

"Lee… you're growing up…." Gai was crying now. He took Lee into a bear hug, as the boy began crying himself. "Ohhh _Leeee-eee-ee-e_…." The two of them began slapping each other on the back. "No 

woman could ever resist you." Somehow, the scene around them seemed to be complete with a sunset background and crashing waves.

"Is there such a thing as too much male bonding?" Sai looked at Lee and Gai skeptically.

"**Absolutely!" **Naruto said with conviction. **"Believe it!" **He was so glad to have Kakashi as his teacher. He would have been embarrassed to have someone like Gai as his sensei. Even Jiraiya had seemed normal in comparison!

"Mmm _hmmm_." Hinata nodded her head. It was moments like these that had her feeling sorry for her cousin.

"Are you responsible for all this?" Neji spoke to Naruto after catching up. He gave a polite nod to Hinata.

"Yes," Naruto said. "Sakura has been very sad lately. Lee has always wanted her to notice him. I kind of put two and two together."

"I see," Neji said, watching the spectacle. He sighed. No matter how many times he had witnessed something like that, it left him feeling guilty by association. By the look on her face, he was certain that Ten Ten felt the same way. "I always thought you had the best eyes that I knew of. If you succeed at this, you will rise even higher in my estimation."

"Ever think of opening a matchmaking service?" Ten Ten smiled. On the surface, it sounded as if she was joking. But, the look she exchanged with Hinata was anything but a joke. She sighed, looking at her white-eyed teammate.

"If he does, _I'll_ be first in line." It was Ino. She had stopped to see what the commotion was all about. She stood slack-jawed, realizing that the boy Gai was hugging was Lee. She was about to ask how everything had come about, until she caught sight of Sai. Seeing him, she frowned, clenched her fists, and marched away in search of Shikamaru and Choji.

"All she needs to do is ask," Sai asserted. "I would gladly accompany her again."

Naruto and Hinata looked at one another, hung their heads, and sighed. Neji actually smiled briefly. That had Ten Ten bringing her hands to her chest, eyes growing large.

When the tear-fest was finally over, and Gai had given Lee as much encouragement as any ten men could muster, the group headed on its way to the Hospital in search of one particular pink-haired medical ninja. Lee looked to be walking with a sense of purpose beyond anything he ever had before. But, once he caught sight of the front door to the Medical Center, he began hanging back some, as if someone had doubled the weights strapped to his legs. For a moment, he seriously considered releasing the fasteners that held the burden on him, so he could move more easily.

"You can do this, Lee." Naruto gave Lee a punch to the shoulder, sensing that he was having a hard time. "You overcame bigger obstacles, right? The fight with Gaara. That dangerous surgery. Taking over the fight against Kimimaro, even though you were walking with crutches a few days before that." He gave him a slap on the back. "Remember one thing. No matter what happens, you'll still be our friend, and we'll still be very proud of you."

"That's right," Hinata seconded, looking at Naruto with a sense of pride and affection. "You were very brave today, making those changes." Hearing that, Lee sniffed and nodded his head. "We'll come with you, if you like."

The entry area was busy. That wasn't surprising, as it was cold and flue season, and the clinics were packed. The nurse working the triage desk knew that Naruto was probably looking for Sakura and waved him past, allowing the others to accompany him. Marching through familiar corridors, the orange-clad ninja shepherded his companions, hoping to come across Shizune or Tsunade. In part, it was because they could tell him off hand where his teammate might be. But, to be honest, he also wanted to show off his work. He doubted if even the Third could get Lee and Sakura together.

"**Shizune!" **As it turned out, he was in luck. The dark-haired medical ninja stepped out from behind a closed door. Ton Ton walked closely behind her, tight on her heels.

"Hello, Naruto." Shizune smiled. She had become very fond of the noisy boy, after he and Jiraiya had fetched her and Tsunade. "You've got quite a crew with you today." She stared at Lee, trying to figure out who he was. She knew she should know, but just couldn't place him.

"It's Lee," Naruto said with a big smile. "I've brought him here to see Sakura." That sounded a bit too much like bragging. Hinata tapped him on the arm and shook her head once. "Is she still here?"

"Bui?" Ton Ton looked over at Lee, finding it hard to believe Naruto at first. She snuffled loudly with her nose, causing her pearl necklace to bounce and her short maroon cloak to rustle. Her porcine eyes went wide. "_Buuu-uu-uiiiiii_…."

"What's all the commotion?" Tsunade had been in the same room, reviewing medical charts. "Naruto?" She made a wry face. "What are you up to _now?" _She looked over at Lee. She rubbed her eyes, thinking that she really needed to get some rest soon, before she collapsed. "Lee?"

"Yes, Ma'am." Lee stood stiffly. If he were a soldier, he would have saluted. In contrast, Naruto longed insolently against a wall, while Hinata and Sai stood casually.

"What's this all about, Lee?" The Hokage knew that she would get a straight answer out of the boy. Straight, and respectful. Naruto might be a bit better after he started going out with Hinata; but, he still had a long way to go! She tapped her fingernail against one cheek, and then raised one eyebrow. "Sakura?" She was well aware of the various crushes among the former Rookie Nine and Team Gai. This change in Lee, it had Naruto's fingerprints all over it.

Lee nodded, finding it hard to speak. He tensed up, almost expecting the Hokage to dismiss his dream with the wave of her hand.

"Hmmm-mm-m…." Tsunade nodded. She flashed the boy a quick smile. "Good luck." One way or another, the shock might do Sakura some good. She had been dragging about lately. She walked over and spoke into Naruto's ear. "If you can pull this one off, you really _will_ be worthy of becoming Hokage some day."

"**You bet!" **Naruto grinned and put a hand behind his neck.

"Was Sai helpful?" The Hokage gazed at the silent shinobi. "Or… was he too busy learning again…." She had heard any number of stories. Sakura had told her about the famous double date. Sai simply smiled.

"You might want to hurry," Shizune suggested. "She should be getting off shift sometime soon." She looked down at Ton Ton and motioned with her eyes. The pig started walking.

"Bui _Buiii-ii-i_…." Searching for Sakura's scent, the pig lead the way. As they all followed after, Naruto thought he heard Tsunade trying unsuccessfully to make a bet with Shizune over the outcome.

Floor after floor, stairwell after stairwell, and hallway after hallway, Ton Ton did better than any bloodhound could have. Wending her way between busy nurses or ambulating patients, she made her way towards her target. When she stopped at a candy-striper's cart, it took Naruto am moment to catch on. Hinata realized what the pig wanted right away and tapped on his frog purse. Ton Ton used her snout to select the item she wanted.

"I'm _not_ buying the pig a snack!" Naruto folded his arms over his chest and turned away. He was not going to be blackmailed by an animal. Ton Ton sat down on her haunches. When Naruto turned to glower at her, she lay down on her belly. When he began cursing under his breath, she rolled onto her back and wriggled, getting rid of an itch. "OK… alright… whatever…." Naruto opened the purse and took out a few coins. "But… next time I get ramen… I'm going to order it with a double helping of pork!"

"You did well against Akatsuki that last time," Sai remarked. "But, you were defeated by a pig." As one might expect, that did not sit well with his teammate. "It will make a legendary tale."

"**Bui!" **Ton Ton picked up the candy bar in her mouth, tuned around, and shook her piggy butt at a seething Naruto. She then resumed her journey, scratching on a door at the end of that wing. "Bui _Buiiii-iii-ii-i_…." No one needed to speak pig to know what that meant.

"Thank you," Hinata said, scratching the pig under her chin. Lee expressed his thanks as well. Sai grinned when Naruto gave Ton Ton a 'hit the road' gesture with the thumb of one fist.

Naruto didn't bother to knock. He thought he remembered this being one of the lounges for the medical staff. He was wrong. That was one floor down. The room he barged into was the Women's dressing room.

"**NARUTO!" **There was the sound of a fierce impact. **"YOU JERK!" **Naruto came flying out of the room, bouncing off of two walls before landing in a crumpled heap.

"I got her warmed up for you, Lee." Naruto groaned.

"Ummm… Sakura…." Hinata decided to rescue the situation before she saw to Naruto. "It was an honest mistake." She paused a moment, letting that sink in. "There's someone here to see you."

"You could go in now yourself," Sai suggested to Lee. "To see if she is truly worth the effort." He remembered something he read. "You should always check the milk before buying the cow." He was as shocked as everyone else when Hinata shook a finger at him.

When she was finished getting dressed, Sakura came out into the hallway, still red in the face. She wasn't all that happy to see Hinata ministering to Naruto, either. Catching sight of Sai only caused her to narrow her eyes even more. She was in no mood for his clueless nonsense. It had been a busy shift. She was exhausted. All she wanted was a quick bite to eat, a hot bath, and a soft pillow. Who was that with them all? He was wearing dark glasses, but it was obviously not Shino.

"Hello… Sakura-chan…." Lee took off his glasses. If his voice hadn't given him way, his eyes certainly did. He put the eyewear back on. "I… I wanted to… you see…."

"_Lee?" _Sakura stood dumbfounded. What had he done to himself? No. Why had he done it in the first place. "Why are _you_ here?" She began to get a sinking suspicion. "Were you looking for me?"

"Yes," Lee replied. "I wanted… I was hoping… it was my goal to have you change you opinion of me." He stood taller, fire burning in his eyes. He could do this. He would give it everything he had. For himself. For Gai-sensei. For Naruto. "I wished to see if you would go out on date with me." He had done it. Not only that, he had done it without shouting or posing.

"Great. Just what I needed." Sakura sounded exasperated. "I _really_ don't want to hurt your feelings, but no one had any business getting your hopes up." She glared over at Naruto. There was double meaning to those words. "So…." She was interrupted.

"Lee didn't do this to upset you," Hinata said, stating the obvious. "He worked very hard and gave up things that were dear to him. For you." She looked over at Naruto. _She_ would have given up everything she had for _him_. "How many other people might do that for you?"

"But… that…." Sakura was cut-off again.

"Men will do anything for the damsel they love," Sai put in. "Or to get laid."

"_**OOOO-OOO-OO-OH**_…." Sakura swung on reflex. It was Sai's turn to play human pachinko ball.

Naruto walked over to his pink-haired teammate. He had a very serious look on his face. "You might as well hit _me_, too." He lifted his chin, giving her a perfect shot. "I'm the one who started the whole thing. If the only thing Lee gets out of this is a broken heart, after all that he did, then I deserve to hurt too." He looked Sakura in the eyes. "Go ahead. Blame me. I didn't want to see either of you be lonely."

Hinata would have fallen in love with him for the first time, seeing that, if she hadn't given him her heart already. Lee couldn't help but feel a swelling of joy in his heart hearing those words, despite the sadness welling up inside. Naruto was true friend.

"I…." Sakura hung her head. She didn't know what she should feel. "It's just that…." She looked over at Lee. "It's not what's on the outside that counts. It's what's on the _inside." _

"That's right," Naruto said. "I think Lee showed everyone what he had on the inside today." He spoke softly, but he wasn't going to allow Sakura to brush his friend away just yet. "Lee works hard. He's got a good heart. Who knows what kind of person he might become, with a little help." He didn't say, 'once he finally flies out of Gai's nest'. "You should know a lot about first impressions."

"What do you mean?" Sakura asked. She frowned, having caught sight of Shizune and Tsunade peeking around a corner. The nerve of women their age acting that way! Was that it? Was everyone ganging up on her? She had felt her heart softening for a moment there. Not any more!

"You remember when everyone thought I was useless," Naruto said. "You included. Maybe you most of all." He put both hands behind his back and leaned against the wall. "I certainly remember when everyone except me thought _you_ were useless, too" He saw Sakura open her mouth to retort, before sighing and nodding her head. "You never really did much of anything, except chase after Sasuke or get in trouble, needing to get rescued." He could name any number of times that had happened. "That was before you signed on with Tsunade, and I went off with Jiraiya." He didn't mention Sasuke's running off to the third of the three Legendary sannin.

"By the time he returned…." Hinata began. "…Ummm… you had become a talented medical ninja. You were confident. You were needed." She looked over at Naruto. It was nice to be needed. "The Hokage gave you a chance." She had gotten the chance she needed, too. That was just one of the reason she was rooting for Lee.

"**Bui!" **Obviously, Ton Ton was somewhere eavesdropping, too.

"Back when I rescued you from Shukaku, you thought that Sasuke had done it." Naruto sighed. So much good had come out of that fight. He had changed Gaara's heart. He had shown that he wasn't just some loud-mouthed braggart. But, he had also planted the seeds of jealousy in Sasuke's heart. 

"You were wrong then. You could be wrong now, too." She really hadn't started respecting him until he went off on that Promise of a Lifetime.

They all stood quietly for a while. Finally, Sakura looked at Naruto, and then at Lee. She took a deep breath… held it… an then let it out. "I'll think about it… okay?" She was telling the truth. While she might not decide in his favor, Lee had earned that much. And, while looks weren't everything with her, he certainly looked a lot better that way.

"Yes." Lee smiled. It wasn't exactly what he had hoped for; but, it was a whole lot more than he had when he woke up that morning.

That would have been a good time for everyone to head their separate ways, happy with small victories. At the very least, it was a good time to stay quiet and reflect on the lessons learned. Of course, being who he was, Naruto didn't care for any of that!

"Hah!" He slapped Lee on the back. "Uzumaki Naruto strikes again!" He began walking with a strut. "What did I tell you? I'm a-_maaa-aa-a_zing!" He gave his friend a Nice Guy pose. That had Lee looking nostalgic.

"He really is amazing I guess," Sakura said. _"Isn't _he, Hinata?" She looked over at the other girl, the tone of her voice causing her to suspect something was up. "It must be that Ninja Way of his."

"Ummm… yes…." Hinata nodded her head, and looked over at am ebullient Naruto. She wondered what was on the other kunoichi's mind.

"**You know it!" **Naruto looked over at Sai, as if to say 'you're lucky to have someone like me for a teammate.'

"You won't ever give up that Way, _will_ you Naruto?" Sakura eyed her two teammates. Naruto had his arm around Sai's neck now.

"No way!" Naruto laughed. Why would he ever do _that? _He had been talking about his Way of the Ninja since the Academy. Everyone knew that. It was a part of him. She might as well ask if a leopard was thinking about changing its spots.

"I think she is up to something," Sai offered. But, his friend was too busy congratulating himself. As usual, the former Root member could be very observant, even though he was clueless to a fault.

"Fair's fair, right? You wouldn't tell a friend to do anything you weren't willing to do yourself." Sakura winked at Hinata without anyone else seeing. "You wouldn't have Lee so something that you weren't willing to do for Hinata, _would_ you?"

"Huh?" Naruto calmed down. He tugged at one ear. "What are you talking about, Sakura-chan?" He looked over at Lee. The other boy shrugged.

"Lee made a lot of changes to impress me," Sakura said. She turned to Hinata. "While you were helping him, did you ever think that it would be nice if Naruto made similar changes?" She looked Hinata in the eyes, a grin hovering at the edge of her lips.

"Ummm…." Hinata looked over at Naruto. She remembered the hair stylist's comment about a haystack. There was no way that she would ever forget the shop owner's reaction upon seeing his orange and black clothing. She couldn't bring herself to lie, even if she wanted to. "Yes."

"What?" Naruto's posture stiffened. He blinked rapidly. "Hinata-chan?"

"The double date with Ino helped bring you two together, _didn't_ it?" Sakura did grin this time, looking at her noisy teammate. "So… in honor of Lee's efforts… I think I will go with him on a double date with you and Hinata."

"_**Ohhhh-hh**_…." Lee caught himself. He couldn't believe what he just heard. 'Gai-sensei… I did it!'

Naruto relaxed a bit. He had thought for a moment, that Sakura had something up her sleeve other than a freakishly powerful arm. He certainly wouldn't mind a double date, as long as Sai didn't find some way to tag along.

"We can make quite a day of it," Sakura said, continuing. "Lee and I will come along and give you our advice." She looked over at Lee. As a testament to small miracles, she didn't shudder this time. "You know… haircut… clothing… things like that…." That had Hinata smiling.

"I told you," Sai said, feeling vindicated.

"I will help you the way that you helped me!" Lee sounded very enthusiastic.

"But…." Naruto felt as if he had been caught in Shikamaru's Shadow Bind Technique.

"It's settled then," Sakura said. Smiling, she looked down to where Shizune and Tsunade had been watching from. "Is tomorrow good for you? Team 7 has the day off, again." She waited for Hinata's reply.

"Sure." Hinata smiled. She felt a little guilty, knowing that Lee had been very motivated to make his changes, while Naruto would be obstinate and contrary. She crossed her fingers, hoping that he might get into the spirit of things.

"Well…." Naruto saw where things were going. For a moment, he was very angry at Sakura, and felt as if Hinata had betrayed him. But, he couldn't help but see the balance in things. Sakura was right. Fair's fair. Besides, how could he stay mad at Hinata? Especially when the look on her face said that she wouldn't make him go through with things if he didn't want to. "I suppose it _is _my Way of the Ninja." That had Lee applauding.

"I have nothing scheduled tomorrow," Sai announced, eyes closed and a big grin on his lips.

"**Shit!" **Naruto hung his head. That was asking too much!

"Bui!"Even Ton Ton sounded sympathetic.

END


	4. Be Careful What You Ask For

**A/N:**

_This chapter brings the four part continuum full circle. Sai had started things off, talking in front of a crowd. Now, weeks later, Naruto finishes it, speaking to his own audience._

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The room was packed with shinobi.

With everyone talking at once, the volume was quite high. A number of people had their fingers in their ears.

"I _still_ don't think this is a good idea," Naruto told Hinata, the two of them off in a smaller room connected to the meeting hall. "I can't believe that Ino talked me into this." He tugged at one ear, making a face. He was the speaker, not Tsunade or one of the village authorities. "I _know_ you must think this is a disaster waiting to happen."

"Everyone has been asking us," Hinata said primly, picking lint and dried ramen noodles off of Naruto's jump suit. "They often find us when we want to be alone." She made a face, before remembering how she should behave. She put her hands on her hips when she saw that Naruto caught her actions, and quickly clasped those hands together. "I'm _sure_ this will be a help to them." Quiet, shy, and unassuming, she still had a scheme of her own. "You'll do fine." Checking the area three times to make sure no one could see them, she gave her boyfriend a quick kiss.

"Okay," Naruto said, shrugging. "I trust your judgment." He tried to look and sound serious, but failed. "Actually… it's because you're too damned cute to resist…." He smiled when Hinata's ears turned beet red, even though he felt his own face grow warm. "Besides… if they're stupid enough to be sitting out there… they deserve what_ever_ they get…." He though he saw Hinata nod her head, before she looked like she was examining her fingernails.

The two of them peeked out from behind the large fabric curtain. All of their friends had shown up, most of them voluntarily. The crowd consisted of Chuunin and Genin, with Neji being the lone Jounin that they recognized. Ino had been rather industrious, putting this together. Of course, it was for her own benefit. Naruto and Hinata had somehow managed to find one another. They had also gotten Lee and Sakura to got out on a date, even if it had only been as chaperons and potential enforcers, there to make certain that Naruto received the makeover that his shy and unassuming girlfriend wanted. Maybe, given that turn of events, some of the other ninjas could finally find themselves pairing off.

"I think it's time," Hinata said, looking at her wristwatch. "It wouldn't be polite to keep them waiting very long." She nodded to one of the building's maintenance men. He worked the ropes that pulled the curtain back. Staying in the wings where Naruto could see her, she watched as the rowdy young man made his way over to the podium.

"**Hey!" **That was Kiba's voice. No surprise, really. "It was worth it just to see _that." _He smiled, eyeing his friend's rather sedate outfit. Gone was the blinding orange and black. The wild hair was gone too, replaced by a layered cut. "I guess we all know who's whipped!"

Naruto scowled. He glared down at his rather rambunctious friend. Having spent time with Jiraiya, he knew all too well what kind of 'whipped' Kiba was talking about, even if some of the other's didn't. He doubted that Hinata had a clue. She was too naïve and innocent for that.

"I don't care _what_ the reason is," Shikamaru could be overheard saying to Choji. "This is far too bothersome." He made it a point to ignore Ino, who had insisted that her two teammates accompany her.

"Amen," Shino said. He hadn't wanted to come to this, either. He doubted any good could come out of it for him. All it would do, would be to remind him of his differences.

"_**Ahhhh-hhh-hh-h**_…." Lee's changes had only lasted so long. The green suit, bowl cut, and bushy brows were still gone; but, the mannerisms could be restrained for only so long. "Sakura deserves a lot of the credit!" The pink-haired girl had been a force of nature, teaming up with a rather curious Sai to keep their teammate in line. Lee had done what he could to offer moral support to Naruto. That, and restrain him before he could be thrown in jail for attacking that flamboyant hair cutter.

"Yes… she… _does_…." Naruto muttered under his breath. He liked the orange jumpsuit. But, that didn't matter. He was a man of his word. And, truth be told, he didn't really mind doing things that made Hinata happy. However, he didn't care much for everyone _else's_ reaction. His frown deepened when Sakura stood up to take a bow, prompting a playful round of applause. "She should remember who's holding the microphone," he said between clenched teeth. His eyes narrowed when Ino, Choji, and Ten Ten made quips of their own.

"We should probably hear from Hinata," Sai offered, looking as casual and am used as always. "No doubt she is the true architect of their relationship. He smiled, remembering something that Sakura had said. "Then again… if someone like him can do this… perhaps anyone can…." That had a number of people hooting and whistling.

"That might be true," Naruto said, after tapping his finger against the microphone. He glanced down at Sai and smirked. "But… as we all know… _you_ don't need to worry about that…." He waved his arm in dramatic fashion, like the master of ceremonies at a circus. "You can draw up a willing girlfriend any time you like." He made a big show of kissing his hand. "I bet it's a bitch, though… all those paper cuts…."

"**Burn!" **Kiba leaned back in his chair and chuckled. He didn't need any help with the fairer sex. He had more lady friends than he could shake a stick at.

"But…." Sai cocked his head. He thought about offering a denial. No. Why interrupt the proceedings? Naruto was here for everyone's benefit.

"Just joking!" Naruto nodded in Sai's direction. "Sai's a great guy, ladies." He clapped his hands together. "A really great guy. He can't help the way he was trained. He's still learning about his emotions, and the way people relate to one another. He's a bit clueless, too. Right?"He looked over at Ino. She made a sour looking face. "But… he's a good friend and teammate… very dependable." He smiled. "Some girl might like an honest and hard-working guy she can wrap around her finger. Train him right, and who knows _what_ you might get." He was already talking like a big shot, throwing his chest out some. Hinata rubbed her fingers together, watching.

"Thank you…." Sai looked perplexed. "I think…."

"You should remember one thing!" Naruto sounded serious. "Looks _aren't _everything." He folded both arms over his chest. "Some people think that Sai looks a little like Uchiha Sasuke. I don't care about that kind of stuff. All the girls used to chase after Sasuke, though." He frowned, looking down at Ino, Sakura, and Ten Ten. "But… we all know how _that _turned out…." In all actuality, he didn't. Sasuke's final fate had yet to be determined; but, the day of reckoning was fast approaching. Speaking about the missing ninja tore Naruto up inside. But, the point he made was valid. A lot of girls had written Naruto off. A lot of guys had brushed Hinata aside. Even he had been blind to her.

"We know all that 'looks' cliche," Kiba called out. "How _else_ would you have gotten a girlfriend!"

"Hey! Kiba! That's _realll-ll-ly_ funny!" Naruto put on a false smile. He brushed his hand through a few whisps of orange chakra that appeared, as if he could calm himself down that way. It was OK. He had the pulpit and was more than willing to make use of it. "I know _you_ don't have any trouble getting 

dates." That much was true. He had heard his friend brag about it enough times. They _all_ had. "Some girls like the loud, headstrong type, right? Bathing and personal grooming don't matter to _every_one." He smirked, seeing Kiba stiffen. "They probably won't mind being treated like a bitch in heat, I bet. And, girls just love guys in leather coats."

"Hey… I…." Kiba didn't have a chance to get a word in.

"Brave… strong… good with animals…." Naruto began pacing back and forth on the stage, extolling Kiba's virtues. "Has those cool markings on his face…." He paused, running fingers across his cheek. "_Mine_ are real, though." That had Hinata saying 'Naruto-kun.' But, her voice didn't have her usual tone of conviction. "But… we all know what his major attraction must be…." He paused for effect, not about to be dissuaded by Kiba's growling comments. "Who could be any better… you know… doggy style…." That had everyone speaking up at once. A rather exasperated Shikamaru put a hand over his face.

"**Naruto!"** Sakura didn't sound too pleased. As usual, she was Team 7's propriety police.

"This might not have been such a good idea," Choji said to Ino. The look on her face was a sight to see. She opened her mouth to speak, but was beaten to the punch.

"Get down on your knees and bark like a dog, baby…." Naruto smiled, having done a near perfect imitation of Kiba's voice. "_**Aroooo-ooo-oo-o**_…." After Naruto howled, Shino and Lee had to restrain Kiba. "Of course… I would _not_ be surprised… if Akamaru likes to watch…."

"I could see something like that be true," one of the Genin girls said.

"Totall_eee-ee-e_…." One of her friends agreed. Like the other girls, she turned to look at the struggling boy. To some, Naruto's joking had chilled them to Kiba. But, for a small number of girls, it wouldn't be too far from factual to say they were intrigued.

"**You're dead, Naruto!"** Kiba's eyes were glowing. His hands were curved like claws. It almost looked as if he had begun a _Jūjin Bunshin_ transformation. "Just you wait…."

"This kind of thing is not what I was after." Ino stood up, hands on her hips. Maybe she should have known better. But, Naruto had seemed to have matured more than she would have expected. No doubt Hinata was having a positive effect on him. That is, until tonight!

"I know," Naruto said, feeling somewhat guilty. He had come here with the intention of sharing what little advice he had on dating. He had learned a lot through trial and error, over the past few weeks. "Sorry. I shouldn't let myself be so easily provoked." For a while after that, he spoke personably, occasionally looking over at Hinata and asking for her two cents on things.

"One thing we all probably know…." Naruto couldn't help being a smart ass again, for a moment. "Except, maybe for Sai…." He smiled. "It's normal for someone our age to be interested in dating…." He held his hands out. "_If _we have the time… and _if_ we can get all of that shinobi stuff off of our minds…." He had gotten distracted himself, caught up with Akatsuki, training, and the like. If it hadn't been for Ino's double date idea, he still would be unattached and unlikely to change any time soon.

"Like _that_ can ever happen." Shikamaru sighed and made a face. Asuma had said he had the talent to be Hokage, but not the desire. That was all so true! If he wasn't so talented at his profession… if the village didn't need his considerable… and if his father hadn't been part of a very similar triumvirate… he would rather be anything but a ninja. "If it _could, _why should anyone want to waste their peace and quiet with someone _else_…." Even Temari hadn't been able to win him over entirely, even though she had come close. Going home after their date and seeing how his mother hen-pecked his father did a lot to let the air out of his balloon.

"I can think of a number of reasons!" Kiba spoke up loudly again.

"**Down boy!"** Naruto grinned, looking down at Kiba. "Not everyone is a nag," he said to Shikamaru, correctly guessing his friend's thoughts. He made it a point not to meet Ino's eyes at the moment. She was a very nice girl. But, she certainly could be bossy! "It can be nice sharing quiet time with someone." He looked back at Hinata.

"That's right!" Ino leaned forward in her seat, trying to meet Shikamaru's gaze. He simply slumped further in his chair. "If someone like Naruto can enjoy spending quiet time with someone, anyone else can, too…." She put her hand to her mouth. That didn't quite come out the way she wanted it to.

"Naruto?" Choji grinned. "Quiet?" He chuckled. "_That_ would be a miracle…." A large number of people spoke up, agreeing.

"You shouldn't have said that," Shikamaru said with a sigh. He was genius enough to know how Naruto might react. Things had been troublesome enough already, as far as he was concerned.

"**I **_**can**_** be quiet!"** Naturally, Naruto's voice reached its highest volume yet, with that reply. He coughed. "I mean… I'm not _always _loud…." He looked over at Ino, Shikamaru, and Choji. Now it was their turn to be in his sights. Out of his vision at the moment, Hinata nodded her head. Things were going well, without any need for scripting. "But at least I can be enthusiastic about things… unlike someone I know…."

"Don't bring _me_ into this." Shikamru frowned. He had no doubt about what Ino's motivation had been in organizing this talk. "What a drag."

"It's amazing how someone can be so lazy and easygoing, and still have two cute girls chasing after him," Naruto said. He remembered pushing his friend into the arena, when he had been considering accepting a forfeit, instead of facing Temari. "He'd rather take a nap, or get involved in the kind of games that old men play…." He began marching back and forth again. "He was the first to make Chuunin, even though he called himself 'the number one coward' and 'the number one at running away'."

"Shikamaru's no coward…." Choji looked very serious now. He didn't like to hear anyone make fun of his friend.

"He is when it comes to girls." Naruto put both hands behind his neck. "Even though he's a brilliant strategist, and could keep ten moves ahead of any girl…." He held his hands the way that Shikamaru did when he was formulating a plan. He looked down at Kiba. "Hey! Kiba! What would _you _do if someone like Temari was interested in you?"

"Are you kidding me?" Kiba stood up. "_**Schwiii-ii-ing**_…." He thrust his hips this way and that. "That girl can give me a fan job any time she likes!"

"Temari's not so great," Ino groused. "No matter _what_ Mr. Sensitivity thinks." She gave Kiba the evil eye.

"You shouldn't be too jealous," Sai offered, having been reading up on envy and other human emotions. "I'm certain that Kiba would feel the same way about you." Not understanding the whole 'schwing' business, he had expected Ino to smile and tell him 'Thanks.' The look on her face had him stiffening. At his side, Sakura hid a grin.

"I think Shikamaru just needs to see how nice it is having someone care for him." Naruto looked down at Ino. She was nodding her head fervently. He smirked. "We know you have a mature outlook, no matter how bossy and troublesome you think girls are. You said you want to 'marry someone who is 

not ugly, or beautiful. Have two children, first a girl, then a boy. Retire after your daughter is married, and your son has a job, and spend the rest of your life playing Shogi. And to die before your wife'." He rubbed his chin. "Before you can have a wife… you'll need to have a girlfriend…."

"That's right." Ino drummed her fingers on her chair rail, hoping to see some kind of spark in her teammate's eyes. As usual, she was out of luck.

"Spare me." Shikamaru closed his eyes.

"Just think of the fringe benefits." Naruto tried to sound serious again. "With the Shadow Imitation Technique, you can grab multiple targets at once, _if _you know what I mean…." That had Ino turning bright red. She knew _exactly_ what Naruto meant. Hinata was too naïve to catch his drift, otherwise she might have felt a bit woozy. "Hey, you could even do that when you were sitting with two girls. _Sayyy-yy-y_… a girl from the Leaf on the left… and a girl from the Sand on the right…."

"That would be…." Choji's eyes looked intense. He was imaging just that. Snot began dripping from both nostrils. He couldn't help but look over at Ino.

"Menage a tois," Kiba offered helpfully. This was great, when he wasn't the one being singled out.

Shikamaru knew it wouldn't do him any good to deny anything. Besides, why should he make an effort in replying to something like _that? _Ino, on the other hand, took great offense, and was quick to get to her feet.

"Now's not the time to volunteer… with everyone watching…." Naruto said to Ino. "I'm sure that Shikamaru will take your application under consideration some day." He checked back with Hinata for a moment, searching her face. She didn't give him one of those admonishing looks, so he decided to continue. "You graduated as one of the best kunoichi in our class. You would probably do just about anything for flowers. You have just the type of outgoing personality that someone like Shikamaru that needs." He chuckled, thinking of something. "You know the _Shōsen_ _Jutsu… _Mystical Palm Technique… what guy wouldn't like _that?"_ Naruto's play on words was referencing a multi-purpose technique used by medical ninjas to heal wounds and perform surgery.

"…" Ino opened her mouth but couldn't get her tongue to work. Kiba slapped Shino so hard on the back that he almost knocked his glasses off. Lee asked Ten Ten what Naruto meant. That had his teammate turning red in the face. She couldn't help but look over at Neji then, who immediately looked uncomfortable with the attention.

"Naruto-kun." Hinata had caught on that time. She grabbed onto one of the control ropes to steady herself.

"That is _indeed_ a useful technique," Sai put in, wanting to compliment Ino. She had trained as a combat life-saver, and that kind of skill was very valuable when medical ninjas were not around. "Because it is done with chakra, she does not need to cut through clothing to reach organs."

"Heh… heh… heh…." Kiba looked like he had just won the lottery. "He said 'organs'. He knew that would get a rise out of Ino. It did. She looked like she couldn't decide who she wanted to kill first, jokester Kiba, clueless Sai, or troublemaker Naruto.

"And let's not forget the _Shintenshin no Jutsu_," Naruto continued. "The famous Mind Body Switch Technique." He rubbed his nose, ready for the punch line. "Now _that_ could be pretty kinky…."

"You shouldn't say those things about Ino," Choji said. It was his turn to get out of his seat, now. It wasn't a secret, the fact that he had a crush on his female teammate. "She's a nice girl!"

"You're right," Naruto said, nodding his head in admiration, happy to see the rotund boy stand up for their common friend. "This should serve as a notice for all you other girls." Naruto swept his arm across his body, taking in the entire crowd with his gesture. "Remember what I said about not judging a scroll by its cover? Choji's a really great guy. He may have the kindest heart of anyone here." He meant that. "And no one better ever use the 'F' word for him!? He clenched both fists. He was not joking at that moment. When he heard a number of hushed responses, he quickly added "I meant the _three_ letter 'F' word."

"What other 'F' word is there?" Sai asked Sakura that, knowing that it was unacceptable to call Choji 'f-a-t'. An instant later, he found himself tumbling through the air, landing on Shino's lap.

"You're not my type," Shino said, pushing the other boy to the floor. He wished that a girl had fallen there instead, since he personally felt that the only way he would ever find a soulmate was if Fate could drop one in his lap. Courtship for Aburame males was not as easy as it was for everyone else, for obvious reasons.

"Choji is big-boned," Naruto insisted, smiling when those words gave him another off-color idea. "He's pretty muscular now, and not nearly as obese. You girls should keep that in mind. Big men often have big…."

"**N-A-R-U-T-O-!"** Sakura, Ino, Ten Ten, and Hinata all spoke up at once.

"I can vouch for that," Sai put in, wondering why the girls had reacted that way. "I have shared the showers with Choji and.…" Just as he had been about to sit down in his seat again, his teammate sent him flying.

"But wait… there's more…." Naruto sounded like someone hawking a miracle kitchen utensil on TV. "Not only that, but you ladies should all remember that he can do _Bubun Baika no Jutsu_… the Partial Multi-Size Technique…." He paused for effect. Looking down at Kiba, he could tell that his friend knew what was coming next. "That allows him to increase the size of _any_ body part."

"Any…." Lee swallowed hard. He was feeling a bit inadequate at the moment.

"I wonder if someone _else _can learn that?" Ten Ten looked ready to faint, after realizing that she had spoken her thoughts out loud. Everyone turned to look at her. Neji had a sweat drop on the side of his face, even though he didn't know why.

"It might prove useful for someone following in Tsunade's footsteps," Ino quipped, trying to shake off the embarrassment she still felt. "Certain people aren't as blessed as others." She didn't bother looking over at Sakura. She'd know who and what she was talking about.

"Ino pig…." Sakura growled. The arms of her chair broke off in her hands.

"Truly?" It seemed that Sai never learned. Limping back to his spot, he ended up in the rafters this time.

"Why don't we all settle down and take the subject seriously." Naruto somehow managed to say that with a straight face. Everyone went silent, staring at him incredulously. "Shinobi teenagers really don't know how to date." He knew that all too well. Practically all of them did. "We've learned a lot of things in the classroom, and on the practice fields. But, there are a lot of things we don't otherwise have reason to know. How to respect someone's person space…."

"Or personal _places_…." That was Kiba. Of course. He looked up to where he figured Hinata must be standing, wishing he could see his teammate's face. He heard a thump. That would be her falling onto her rear end. He grinned, put his hands behind his head, and leaned back in his chair.

"The do's and don'ts of a give and take relationship," Naruto added, ignoring his raucous friend. He coughed, unable to look over at his girlfriend. They hadn't done anything with 'personal places.' That did not mean he hadn't _thought_ about that, however. "Looking for people who share the same values we do, not just someone who's convenient, or catches our eyes." He spread his legs apart and looked somewhat stern. This message was for all of the people who kept intruding in on his time alone with Hinata. "People need privacy. They don't want to have to talk about everything they do."

"Yes," Hinata whispered. If she had a coin for every time one of her girlfriends asked her what she had done with Naruto the day before, she could start her own business, or keep her boyfriend in noodles for months on end.

"I hope _you _know all the do's and don'ts." That was Ten Ten, feeling compelled to speak up on behalf of Neji, who she knew would remain silent in a gathering like that. No doubt he would be concerned about the honor and well-being of his cousin. "And you better respect her privacy… and her… well…." Her voice ran down. She blushed slightly. "You know what I mean."

"I certainly do." Naruto wasn't angry at Ten Ten's concerns, since he felt very much the same way. But, once again, he wasn't very pleased about people making assumptions about him, or telling him what he had to do.

"None of us…." Neji did decide to speak up, if only to reassure his friend that he had no worries about Hinata, since he trusted Naruto implicitly. He was too late.

"But, I wonder if Neji knows that Ino asked me to speak on this subject for Ten Ten's sake as much as her own." He tugged at one ear, seeing both Ten Ten and Ino sitting up straighter in their seats. Ten Ten was waving her arms frantically, as if she could somehow hold back the tidal wave hat was coming. "You might have been luckier if he still believed that people's destinies were already decided. Astrology can't predict everything, you know!" He knew that astrology was one of Ten Ten's hobbies.

"Ten Ten?" Lee was not always the quickest to catch on. "Is _that_ why you are always spending so much time training with Neji?" His eyes widened. "Gai-sensei never mentioned any such thing." To Lee, if Gai didn't mention something, it wasn't worth considering. That, despite the fact that Sai had spilled the beans when he as standing before many of the people present there today.

"Who can blame her?" Naruto smiled. Lee had handed him the perfect segue. "Neji's a pretty great guy. He was the number one rookie of his Academy class. Some people thought he was the strongest Genin trying to become a Chuunin during those first exams. He was the first of my friends to make Jounin."

"Why don't you two get a room, then?" Kiba guffawed. "Maybe Hyuugas are like potato chips, right Choji?" He thumbed his nose at Naruto. "Once you have one, you can never stop. Naruto… Hinata has a little sister too, you know…."

"It would do you well to be more serious," Shino said with a droll tone of voice. "Your joking around will get you in trouble some day."

Naruto opened his mouth to make an angry retort. But, he was learning. He was in the catbird seat at the moment, standing on stage with everyone's eyes on him, microphone in hand. "Let's have a show of hands," he called out. "For all you girls here today, how many are impressed at Kiba's razor sharp wit?" He looked around the room. "How many are more eager to go out on a date with him than you were before?" Only one girl raised her hand. Looking embarrassed, she tried to sump down in her chair to avoid notice. _"Hmmm-mm-m_… I'm sure there's a lesson to be learned there…." Kiba didn't look so very pleased with himself any more.

"Maybe more people should listen to me," Shino remarked.

"Great." Sakura sounded dejected. "He getting himself all worked up again." She scowled at Naruto. "Practice is going to be a pain in the neck for the rest of the week."

Sitting next to her, Sai rubbed his neck. It already hurt, thanks to his pink-haired teammate.

"Where was I?" Naruto scratched at the back of his head. He snapped his fingers, looking over at Ten Ten. "Oh yeh! Neji. A great catch for any girl who might have a crush on him. We all know that the most powerful techniques are normally kept within the Main Hyuuga family. Even though Neji is part of the Branch family, he learned those jutsu. Know how? Simple observation!" He reached inside of his pouch. "Just think what he might be able to do after looking at _this."_ He tossed a copy of the latest _Icha Icha _book to his white-eyed friend. The usually calm Neji bobbled it like it was a hot coal. He did not like being the center of attention. Especially not now, with the particular subject at hand.

"Naruto-kun." Hinata did not seem very pleased with that last move. But, one has to break eggs to make an omelet.

"Just think about it…." Naruto promised himself to apologize to Hinata later. He couldn't stop now. He was on a roll. "He could touch you in sixty-four places before you knew it…." He saw Ten Ten turn beet red. "The Byakugan is just like X-ray vision. He can probably see through clothes, _right?"_ That had Neji looking away. He wasn't about to admit that he had tried to misuse the Hyuuga talent that way.

"_Can _it?" Ten Ten put her hand to her mouth when Neji refused to look at her. Then, she smiled a shy smile. Maybe he had noticed her after all.

"Neji…." Lee's mouth fell open. "Did you…." He began blinking rapidly. Sakura's image came to mind. That was wrong! It was indecent! She was one of the fine flowers of Konoha! After this talk, he would need to run one hundred laps around the village.

"I can almost imagine how cute Ten Ten would look," Naruto said. "With those hair buns on… and nothing else…." That had Neji twitching. Hinata too. Naruto shook his head at her, as if to say 'I said _almost_'. "I bet it makes you want to take her for a Heavenly Spin…." After he said, that, it looked like neither Ten Ten nor Neji would be able to speak for a while.

"**Naruto!"** Sakura sounded rather peeved again. He had stepped way over the line that time. "Stop being such a pervert! I knew it was a bad idea, your training with that old hermit. I bet Hinata doesn't appreciate that kind of talk."

"Unless _she's _doing the spinning!" Kiba listened again. He smiled. The impact was even louder this time. No doubt Hinata had toppled over like a cut tree.

Naruto looked down at his teammate, tapping a finger against his cheek. He knew that there would be Hell to pay, if he spoke out about her the way he had done about everyone else. Then again, he was Uzumaki Naruto! He was not about to back down from any kind of challenge. "Sakura… Sakura… Sakura…." He sighed in put on fashion. "You'd think all of the boys in the village would be chasing after you. I mean… pink is really hot…."

"Wh-… Wh-… _What?" _Sakura brought her hand to her cheek and blushed. Was Naruto making some kind of confession in front of all of them? Might he have started to realize that Hinata wasn't the right girl for him? Her anger vanished. She should have been suspicious right from the start, but was far too distracted. Even the 'Inner Sakura' appeared in her mind, seeing that her emotions were tied up in a knot.

"I can't understand why Lee is the only one interested." Naruto didn't intend to be cruel to either Lee or Sakura. After all, he had gone to great efforts earlier, trying to make the two of them happy if he could. "You're bright, having the highest scores in our class. You're almost as cute as Ino." He owed 

Ino that one. He also knew instinctively, if anything would get him treated like a pinata again, it would be that comment. "But, not _nearly_ as cute as Hinata." To be Hokage some day, he had to learn to be a good politician. Just the same, as far as he was concerned, Hinata really _was_ the cutest.

"Na… _rooo-oo-o_… to…." Sakura had to be restrained by Sai, who had created a number of ink clones. "Just… you… wait…."

"When we first joined Team 7, your stamina and overall talent were far below average." Naruto knew that he might as well go for broke. He had already earned the full-Sakura treatment. "About the only thing you could do was get rid of genjutsu, and say 'Sasuke-_kunnnn-nnn-nn-n'…."_ Sai's creations were having a tough time now. "But, you put all that behind you. After training with Old Lady Tsunade, you've become really impressive…." That had his teammate calming down. As it was, Sai was splotched with ink. "You also look more like a woman now." He thought back to when he had returned from training with Ero-Sennin. Sakura had actually come close to flirting with him, asking if she had changed. She had been royally pissed off when he said that he didn't notice any difference.

Sakura instinctively smoothed her hands down along her sides, accentuating her somewhat more mature curves. That had poor Lee's eyes going so wide, that his eyelids got stuck.

"I know!" Naruto smacked his fist into his palm. "It must be the forehead!" That zinger had Ino clapping her hands, her anger at Naruto forgotten for a moment.

"**THAT'S **_**IT!!"**_ Sakura pushed Sai and his ink creations aside with ease. She began walking through the rows of seats in front of her row, leaving a trail of destruction in her wake. She jumped up on the stage, rolling her sleeves up both arms.

"You won't hurt Naruto-kun." Hinata rushed out from where she had been standing. She would never let anything happen to him, while she was around. Today, she would be especially protective, since by keeping quiet, she had allowed things to progress the way that she had initially hoped for.

"Don't try to stop me," Sakura seethed. "You know he deserves this." She laced her fingers together and cracked her knuckles.

"Cat fight!" That was Kiba. He wasn't being observant as much as he was getting his hopes up. His words had the opposite effect. Both girls looked at one another… looked over at Naruto… and then looked down at their feet. Giving Naruto a look that promised a vengeance that Sasuke would die for, the pink-haired girl returned to what remained of her chair.

"Thanks, Hinata-chan." Naruto smiled when Hinata blushed. No matter how many times he added on the '-chan,' she would turn pink in the face. Girls!

"_**Ohhhh-hhh-hh-h**_…." Lee stood up now, his eyes ablaze. "Do not think that you have escaped retribution!" He stood on top of his chair. He was posing again. "You are my good friend, and I owe you a great deal… but I will not let anyone treat Sakura that way…." That proclamation had the pink-haired kunoichi hanging her head.

"All of that hard work…." Naruto shook his head, remembering how hard he and Hinata had worked, trying to change Lee's habits. He frowned. All their efforts gone to waste! That had him feeling ticked off at the moment. He squared his shoulders and resumed his routine. "You're a very admirable guy, Lee…." He gave his friend a 'V' sign. "…Despite having Gai for your sensei." He knew there couldn't be a lower blow than that one. "I hope you won't have the same luck with women that _he_ had…."

"G-… G-… G-…." Lee was sputtering now. "Gai-sensei is the best! The women of the village just do not know how to appreciate someone like that. They are still trapped in the Dark Age of the past!" That certainly didn't win him any female admirers.

"But they do know what they have in _you_," Naruto said. "Lee is the genius of hard work. He's someone who would stand up for their honor, no matter what. He can create more sticky hearts than anyone else in Konoha!" He had to keep from laughing. Sakura turned as white as a sheet. "Now that the green stretchy suit, bowl hair cut, and big bushy eyebrows are gone, what's not to like?"

"I'm sure you will tell us," Shiakamru said, chin resting on his folded hands. He didn't object when a sympathetic Ino rubbed his back.

"_**Uhhhh-hhh-hh-h**_…." Naruto struck a pose. "The burning youth of this village can never hope to reach the level of excellence that Lee has set." He thumped himself in the chest. "Not to mention, but he's also a really cheap date, ladies. It only takes one drop of alcohol to get him drunk. He turns into a real wild man after that, _if_ you know what I mean."

"…" It was Lee's turn to be speechless. Yes, he did indeed go wild, thanks to the Drunken Fist. But, it was not wild in an amorous manner.

"And just when those other guys might be running out of juice…." Naruto grinned. He was having way too much fun. **"B-a-n-g-!" **The way he said that, had a number of people jumping out of their seats. "He can open five out of the eight chakra gates: _Opening_…." He held up one finger. "_Rest_… _Life_… _Pain_… and _Closing_." He held up four more fingers in succession, smirking as he did so. "For you lucky girls, that opens the sixth gate… _Joy_…." He had no reason to mention the two remaining gates, _Shock_ and _Death_.

"Lee!" Ten Ten rushed to help her teammate. It looked like Lee was overheating. Neji and some of the other ninjas joined her.

"They should rename the book the _Chakra Sutra_," Naruto remarked, showing no mercy. Lee began flopping around like a fish, his imagination running wild with him. It was more than his honest and innocent mind could handle at that moment.

"It might be a good time for you to leave, Naruto-kun." Hinata walked over to stand by Naruto and the microphone.

"You're probably right, Hinata-chan." Naruto turned to leave. But, he had caught sight of something. No. Not something. Some_one_. Shino. His stoic and matter-of-fact friend rarely smiled or showed emotion at all. But, the mysterious shinobi placed a lot of value on friends and teamwork, and had a tendency of holding grudges. Naruto remembered how he failed to recognize him when he returned to the village, even though he easily recognized Kiba and Hinata. Shino had harped on that for months! "Not… just… yet…."

Naruto created a long line of Bunshin. They all put their fingers in their mouths and whistled loudly. When he had everyone's attention again, he said "I don't want to forget Shino!" He grinned. Maybe his friend would have appreciated being overlooked this time. "Some girls probably think that kind of mysterious look is sexy." Shino was wearing a grayish-green, hooded jacket over a black, high-collared, buttoned shirt similar to his old outfit.

"**Who!"** One girl's shout had a number of other girls echoing her.

"More than you think," Naruto replied, lying through his teeth. "Now… I know what some of you might be thinking… those who don't know him too well…." He shivered, thinking the same thing himself. "It's kind of creepy… his being infused at birth with a special kind of chakra-eating insect…." The girls in the front row were turning green in the face. One looked to have developed a bad case of the hiccoughs. Either that or she was gagging. It wasn't any fun, picturing someone as a walking bug's nest. "But… I'm sure that the more sophisticated women can look beyond that…."

"**Don't count on it!"** A number of girls had shouted that out at the same time.

"Ahaaa-aa-a!" Naruto pointed his finger at one of the girls. "I know what's _really_ worrying you!" he nodded his head. "You're worried that bugs might come flying out of his p-.…" He couldn't get the word out. Hinata had shocked everyone watching by clamping her hand over his mouth. Shino and everyone else were glad that she had. "_Mrphlbrphlgrbl_…."

"That's enough, Naruto-kun." Hinata shook her head. She knew exactly what Naruto had almost said. She still felt weak in the knees. "Hurry on out the back while I kept their attention."

As Naruto left through a back door, wanting to get a head start before his unhappy friends decided to show him just how upset they were, Hinata timidly approached the microphone.

"Testing… testing…." The shy girl didn't feel comfortable speaking in front of this many people. But, she had gotten exactly what she had hoped for. It would all go to waste, if she didn't drive the point home. "Ummm… I…."

"We don't have all day," Kiba said gruffly. "We have someone to catch and beat to a bloody pulp."

"Exactly," Shino added.

"It's…." Hinata coughed to clear her throat. "It's best to try and find your own way to win someone's heart." She looked over across the rows of ninja. "Don't keep pestering us for advice…."

Everyone went dead quiet hearing that. They could believe that Hinata had been so forceful, in her own way. Naruto must be rubbing off on her.

"That is all." Hinata pushed the sliding switch that turned off the microphone. She headed off after Naruto. She knew exactly where he would be headed. The Ichiraku Ramen Bar.

She might be quiet. She might be shy. But, that did not mean she was stupid.

Her plan had worked like a charm.

_END_


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